adventures of Dilly, Folken, Katty, and Rhee
by Kat Albatou
Summary: what happens to two villains when they try to keep order when two odd vistors come to visit? Nobody knows......yet
1. katty & rhee

We are two people who meet in an ice cream cone thing. We have broken out of the box of ice cream cones. Crunchy. Note: don't read inserts, these were done when we were hipped on painkillers. Hahahhahahahahahahahahaha just kidding Disclaimer; I don't own Escaflowne, or sadly, Dilly, but I do own Esca- Folwes, the nasal spray. I also owe all my stocks for the nasal spray. I also own myself, Katty, and she, my co writer, owns, Rhee. My little sister also owns polka dotted under wear which she leaves on the floor, and they have brown skid marks. Ewwwwwwww!  
  
Adventures of Dilly, Katty, Rhee, and Folky in the giant poop ship tooth- thingy that floats.  
  
"Lunch, men. Line up according to hair color." The Zaibach soldiers scramble into a line much unlike you would scramble an egg, contraire to popular belief. "You can't flip an egg more than three times because the centripetal force with pull it apart." Katty, a blond very pale girl, stated from behind the counter. Guimel noticed the new lunch lady.  
  
"Who are you? When did you start being a lunch lady?" he asked.  
  
"Oh I am not a lunch lady. I am not even wearing those stupid hairnets, see?" she rumples her hair. "But if you do that to her..." Katty de- hairnets the closest lunch lady. Katty rumples her hair much like she did with her own. "And look!! Snow!!" The 'snow' lands in the already inedible soup that was supposed to be lunch.  
  
"When what are you doing here, and how did you get on Viole?" Asked Guimel. Katty looks at him for a second.  
  
"First off, I am not on Viole, he's the guy behind you. Second I don't know why I would want to be on him." Guimel looks behind him at the long brown haired slayer.  
  
"How did you know his name was Viole?"  
  
"It says it right here" she points to the nametag. "Hi, I am Viole." Katty smiled after she read it out loud. Guimel looks at Viole's blue- bordered nametag. "Don't tell me you can't read."  
  
"How come I don't have a name tag?!"  
  
"How should I know, I am just not a lunch lady!" Guimel looks hurt and runs off crying. "Next" Katty smiles as she plops the snowed on soup on to Viole's tray. Viole doesn't notice and move to the cashier. Gatty was next. "Hello Gatty!" Katty smiled brightly.  
  
"How did you know my name?" Gatty asked the chirpy not a lunch lady.  
  
"It says it on your name tag, are you illiterate too?" Gatty mumbles something about Dilandau having insisted on having them sewn on so he could remember which of his men he was beating up. Because after all everyone knows that once you've started beating them up they all look the same. Gatty then notice the soup.  
  
"What is that?" he points at the white flecks in the soup.  
  
"Sprinkles!" Katty excitedly explained to the idiot slayer, who believed her. Next was Shesta. Shesta remaindered Katty of her younger brother. She smiled and handed him a sandwich.  
  
"I want soup, with those sprinkles," he timidly stated.  
  
"Oh, you don't want those sprinkles." Kat smiled and waved off the on- the –verge-to-crying slayer. Miguel was last in line.  
  
"Hi Michael!" Miguel looks at her.  
  
"I am Miguel, not Michael."  
  
"Well your name tag states that you are Michael."  
  
"Dilandau got it wrong" Miguel blushes and looked at his feet.  
  
"Poor baby." She lands him another sandwich.  
  
"What about the soup?" Katty looks at the sludge.  
  
"Umm I added something that you won't want to eat. And I wouldn't want to make your life any more miserable, sweetie." Katty smiled. Miguel wondered why the girl instated on acting like an older person. She was his age, he just could tell. He was good with that for some odd reason. Katty smiled and stated out loud. "I wonder what my friend is doing."  
  
Meanwhile...  
  
Bang "What the hell are you doing to my Guymelef?!?!!?!?" Dallet shrieked. A really tall white haired transsexual looked down at the shrieking slayer.  
  
"What is a Guymelef?" The transsexual asked bluntly.  
  
"A Guymelef is the thing you just destroyed, and that one happened to be mine!!!" the stricken slayer cried. The transsexual looked at the Guymelef.  
  
"Oh, I though it was a mobile suit. So where is the cockpit on this thing?"  
  
"It won't help, you have already destroyed it." Dallet points out. The transsexual inspects the cockpit.  
  
"Oh, good I saved you. This is definably a suicide cockpit. If you want I can give you one of my mobile suits."  
  
"Guymelef!!" the brown haired slayer angrily corrects the transsexual.  
  
Insert--- a transsexual is a person with the features of both a women and a man. Not to be confused with a hermaphrodite, which is a person with both of the privet property.  
  
"Are you sure?" the transsexual questioned.  
  
"Who the hell are you and what are you doing in the hanger?" shrieked the stunned Dallet.  
  
"I am Rhee, and someone told me to go to work. They pointed me in this direction. So I came here. I saw this giant mobile suit thing you claim its name is guacamole. I took it a part to see what make it tick. And I found a pink round jawbreaker, it wasn't that tasty." Dallet screams.  
  
"That was a Engerist, and do you know how expensive those are? I can just say good-bye to my mid-life crisis!" Rhee jumps down to Dallet.  
  
"Do you mean I ate something toxic? Don't worry, I have eaten Katty's food more once, and I have a good immune system. But quick get me to the infirmary." As Dallet rushes with Rhee to the infirmary, Rhee states. "Don't worry about your midlife crisis, you're still sixteen and you won't live for much longer." Dallet stares at Rhee.  
  
Mean while...  
  
Katty has heard nature calling, and is searching for the bathroom. She is lost, and has found herself in dimly lit hallway with bunches of doors. There is a light at the end of the hallway. Katty, who we all can tell chose to ignore her common sense thinks.  
  
"If the a light at the end of the tunnel is bad, then a light at the end of the hallway must be good!" Katty excitedly rushes towards the door. She busts into the room, and give the international sign for toilet.  
  
"What the?" a man turns as Katty enters the room. Katty starts jumping up and down.  
  
"I need to go bad!" she says to the dreary guy wearing a cap. "Why are you hugging yourself?" As we all know Katty has stumble onto Folken's lair. Folken points to his bathroom with the metal arm, hoping to frighten her off. She notices the door he is pointing at and rushes to it.  
  
"Thanks," she calls back as she slams the door.  
  
Few minutes later...  
  
"Why do you keep a guy in the restroom?" She asked the mullet man.  
  
"Who are you" Folken asks expressionless.  
  
"I am Katty!!! Queen of all I do! Who are you?" Katty jumps into Folken's throne-like chair.  
  
"I am Folken, lord of--  
  
"Hi Folky! Nice to meet you. Can I borrow the oil for a friend? It is vegetable oil right?"  
  
Folky, as we will call him now, stares at the hyper young girl.  
  
"Um, no it is car oil. What was is about a guy in my restroom?" Katty stopped staring at the wine bottles, and smiled.  
  
"Yeah some guy was in there, and said not to tell you about him. He was an old fart, and looked almost like a roly-poly with those metal things all over him." Folken stared. Why was Dornkirk in his restroom?  
  
Kat returned her short attention span to the wine bottle again. It was ruby red as were...  
  
"Folken!" A silver haired commander yanked the door open. Katty gasped. His eyes were the same color as the beautiful wine!  
  
"Why did you steal my wine?" Dilandau madly asked. Dilandau give little attention o the girl in Folken's chair, and grabs the wine off the table.  
  
"Noooo!!!!!!!" Katty launches herself onto Dilandau. Dilandau looks at the attacker.  
  
"So Folken has a girlfriend? Are you keeping her against her will?" Dilandau smirks. Katty snatches the bottle and holds it up to Dilandau's eyes.  
  
"Wow, did you know your eye are the same color as the wine? And they are beautiful." Katty wide eyedly says.  
  
"Uhh, did you know yours were blue?!?!?" Dilandau notices only because they are intently staring at him.  
  
"I think I like you," she says as she hugs the startled Dilandau. Folken laughs inwardly to himself as the weird intruders hugs the rowdy officer.  
  
"Folken get her off! Your girlfriend is hitting on me!!" Dilandau screams as Katty begins to notice all the shiny and red things on Dilandau's outfit.  
  
"I am not folkies girlfriend!" she excited explained, "I am not a lunch lady! Who are you?"  
  
"I am Dilandau, lord of the d--"  
  
"Hi Dilly! Nice to meet you. I hope you didn't eat today's soup, or you're in for a nasty surprise."  
  
"No I didn't..."Dilandau trailed of as Folken turned a unnatural shade of green. Folkie covered his mouth and rushed to the restroom. Few seconds later you hear...  
  
"Folken that was gross! I will never get that smell out of my hair! Much less all of my future seeing machines."  
  
"Well, what are you doing in my bathroom in the first place?"  
  
"Seeing futures, in the great porcelain bowl, it doubles as a throne. But alas I can not use it any more for I wear old people's diapers."  
  
"What, why you looking at futures in my rest room... eww I don't think I want to know." Katty looked at Dilandau for an explanation.  
  
"I think doorknocker is gay." Dilandau shrugged." Folken I am leaving"  
  
"Me too!" Katty followed Dilandau out the door. He gave a tentative glanced back at her every few seconds. "Don't worry, I am not a stalker, and I won't rob you, I have already got what I want." She points to the blue stone-encrusted tiara on her head. Dilandau reaches up toward his forehead. Katty smiled.  
  
"What the hell? When did you do that?" Katty smiled.  
  
"Just a few minutes ago, I am surprised that you didn't feel lighter." She prances around with Dilly's tiara.  
  
"You shall feel my moon tiara's power!" She rushed down the hall, and disappeared out of sight.  
  
"Dammit,' he turned to head the other way when.... "Shit she still has my crown!!!!" he rushes after the slender blond girl.  
  
Heaving Dilandau opens the dragon slayer's main room. He was hot, sweaty and still didn't have his crown back. The embarrassing tan line was embarrassing. He cursed the girl; he hadn't found a trace of her.  
  
"Shesta!" he screamed, he needed to beat someone up. Shesta appeared quickly out of the slayers locker room. His face was red and he was out of breath.  
  
"Yes??" Shesta stared at Dilandau's bare forehead.  
  
"Have you seen a strange girl running around the fortress?"  
  
"No, she's been with us for over an hour now sir."  
  
"WHAT???!!?!?" Dilandau rushed to the slayer's room in such fury that he forgot to hit Shesta, who felt forgotten by this. Before he opened the door, he could hear the rowdy laughter and a girls voice talking.  
  
"Ohhhh! Guess who I am. I am so beautiful, bow down and worship me. Oh, I love myself. Van shall pay for his acts!! Die!!! Burn, hahahah burn!!" The girls voice sobbed into hysterical laughter. Dilandau barred into the room, to see the slayers sitting half dressed in a circle around the tiara wearing Katty.  
  
"Dilly!!!! I have missed you soooo much!" she jumps on 'Dilly'. The slayers laugh, and most are obviously drunk. Guimel and Viole are making out in the corner. (This is the reason Guimel asks Katty if she is on Viole...)  
  
"What are you doing women?"  
  
"Kat! My name is Kat, but I like Katty so much better!" she stood a head shorter to the officer, but she was totally serious, as was Dilandau.  
  
"Just leave me alone with the guys, and you can brood some more about it later." With that she drags Shesta in and pushes Dilandau out. Dilandau is stunned that he hasn't hit her yet and that he had no come back. So he did as she said. So he thought  
  
And thought  
  
And thought  
  
And thought  
  
And thought some more,  
  
And he kept thinking till he hears shouts of laughter from the locker room again. He opens the door to see a spinning bottle of his empty wine that he didn't drink. It was spinning around in the middle of the circle of slayers. Most were holding a beer bottle, and Katty was sipping the last of Dilly's wine. (It was just as tasty as beautiful!) The bottle slowed as a few noticed their captain was watching. Katty and Miguel were chatting happily as Miguel wished the bottle would land on someone Katty wanted to kiss. The bottle slowed and stopped. All the men were aware now of Dilandau's presence in the doorway, but Katty stood happily ignorant. She checked the bottle, it pointed in between Shesta and Gatti. It pointed to someone standing, wearing red.  
  
"You guys better have a good excuse for this," Dilandau gritted his teeth. Katty struggled to get up.  
  
"We were practicing the correct wrist movements," Guimel lamely offered. Katty pulled Dilandau's face down to her level. Her eyes were totally focused on his.  
  
"Dilly..."  
  
"What?!...Umm???" Dilandau didn't try very hard as Katty pushed her lips on his. She tasted like his wine, which he likes. He wanted more of the wine taste, and he tried to stick his tongue into her mouth. His effort was reworded with a smack.  
  
"How dare you! Miguel said that playing spin the bottle didn't have any emotional kisses in it!!" she stalked off, and once again got lost. Dilandau frowned, first the tiara, then the wine, the guys, the kiss, and her. He glared at his slayers, and they gulped. Something told them that they were not going to like this....  
  
Katty was so lost, but she didn't care. She knew that her first kiss wasn't suspost to happen like that. She ran into her friend, though, and that was good.  
  
"Rhee!" she squealed. She hadn't felt like herself after all that wine, but now it seemed to have left her as quickly as she had gotten it.  
  
"Oh, hi Katty, I am so lost and confused."  
  
"Where are you going in such a rush?" Katty strides along with her friend. She notices one of Dilly's officers. This officer didn't go to lunch, because Katty knew all the slayers so far. She couldn't see his nametag as the trio rushed down the hallway.  
  
"I ate a jaw breaker that this guy, mallet, says was poisonous."  
  
"It is an Enegrist, and my name is Dallet. And I have already told you this over five times at least."  
  
"Really?? I don't remember that," Rhee confusedly stated. Katty shrugged and kept running.  
  
"Look it is up ahead!" Dallet huffed, the hospital was oddly very far from the hanger, as if someone didn't want wounded soldiers to live.  
  
"I can't take it any more, my bunions!!!!" Dallet gave a dirty glance at Rhee. "What I really do have bunions, want to see???"  
  
"Hey, look the light at the end of the hall way! I have been here before!" Katty explained excited!  
  
"Really?!?!?" Rhee totally focused on Katty. "What is at the end?? I need to know. Now I really need to take something apart!! Fingers twitching help!!!"  
  
"Just get to the end of this tunnel, where the light is." Dallet roughly said, he had been with this nut for over five hours now.  
  
"The light at the end of the tunnel?? I must be dead, that's why you're here, Katty, you've died too!" Rhee pants out. "I am going straight for the light, so I will win first. BwhwhhHHhhahahahah. And I will never see you again. Finally freedom!!" The later half of Rhee's good-bye speech was wasted on Katty. Katty stood blankly at the light.  
  
"I-I-I-I-I'm died!" she tumbles over as she faints, making a soft thud as she hits the ground. Dallet looks at the blond who is crumble on the floor.  
  
"What the hell is wrong with these people," he murmured.  
  
"Actually it is quite easy. Reverse psychology is very effective. Now I am going to win," Rhee rushes off, pulling unsuspecting Dallet which her. Dallet bumps farer away from the unconscious blond, and cannot unbind himself from the trench coat that he was stuck to.  
  
Folken, coming out of his daily check ups, is rushed by some odd looking stranger with.  
  
"What was that, was that one of Dilandau's men? Has Dilandau found this new way of tourcher for his men? I think that one was named mullet. I shall pray for poor the poor slayer named mullet." Folken proceeded down the hallway. There was an odd shaped object up ahead. He though he heard it moan. Folken's eyes widen, gasp his face changed by one whole line, as he recognized the body of the amazingly cheerful girl. He touched her arm slightly. She withdrew from his touch.  
  
"I am died, I am died, leave me alone!!!" she cried out un-consciously.  
  
"Poor girl, I shall pray for you too." Folken shakes his head. Katty jerks awake.  
  
"Hi folkie, are you dead too? What are you doing?"  
  
"I am praying for you poor soul."  
  
"That's not going to help, you're evil, and do you think god is going to listen to some one who is evil? Oh no if you're here I must be in hell!! I didn't mean to eat so many devils' food cookies, they were just so sinful!! I am so truly sorrow!" Katty gasped as Folken pats her head.  
  
"You're not dead."  
  
"Oh, but Rhee said I was!" Folken guessed this Rhee was an older sister or someone.  
  
"You are not. You must have bumped your head, here come back to my room."  
  
"Is that guy still in your bathroom?" Folken shuttered as he picked up the light girl.  
  
"No he isn't, what is that...," a shimmer of gold flashed off Katty's head.  
  
"Oh, this is Dilly's tiara, I am being him, and sailor moon with it on!" Katty exclaimed. Folken inwardly laughed and carried the chattering girl to his dreary room.  
  
"Let me gooooooo!!!!" Dallet cried as Rhee rushed towards the informatory.  
  
"Huh? Oh sorry I didn't know that you were still following me!"  
  
"I was not following you, you were dragging me!!" Dallet hushed as Dilandau appeared in the medical ward. He was thoroughly pissed, and the whole unit of dragon slayers tramped in behind him. They looked all beaten up and distorted. As we said, it was a good thing they had nametags or what would the nurse do? Dallet surprised a giggle as he viewed Dilandau with out his tiara, and his master's skin was an even lighter shade than the rest of his skin.  
  
"Dallet were have you been!" the lord growled at the only unbeaten up slayer.  
  
"My Guymelef was dismantled, and she ate the Enegrist." Dallet nodded towards Rhee that was fighting with the doctor about what the little numbers meant.  
  
"Who is that?"  
  
"That is a transsexual, named Rhee. She, or is it a he? knows this hot blond girl who is quite ditzy."  
  
"she isn't ditzy it is just an act," Dilandau sneered," she is a little riot maker and she knows all the rules. And she breaks everyone while acts like she doesn't know it..." he spits.  
  
"I ate a jaw breaker that he claims was toxic and expensive. Are there any more..?" Rhee pestered.  
  
"I can't believe that someone was that stupid to eat an Energyist," Dallet whispered to Dilandau. Dilandau slugged Dallet in the face.  
  
"never say tha.." Dilandau trailed off as his looked at the door. First, we all should know that Dilandau has eaten an Energist too. Second Dilandau put two and two together to make four. Dallet had seen Katty, and Dallet was coming from the hanger, and that narrowed down the six hundred stories to one, and the millions of passages to about six. Dilandau grinned, he would have his crown back soon, and have his revenge. "BHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAaa" Dilandau frantically rushed out the ward. Dallet watched his crazed master rush off after something, but he wasn't sure what.  
  
"see I really do have bunions!" Rhee's foot entered Dallet's view.  
  
"urgg, okay get it away!" Dallet crawled to the rest of the purple blisters that we call shall slayers.  
  
"hey who has the vegetable oil??" Rhee squealed.  
  
"I do!" one of the blisters replied.  
  
"who are you?"  
  
"I am Guimel!"  
  
"which one is Guimel?" Rhee asked the nurse. The nurse shrugged.  
  
"he isn't registered as in the ward. But he could be the one with out a tag that we can't identify." She points to the middle blistered slayer.  
  
"hand it over," Rhee stared to drool as the slyer slowly removed the oil from his jacket. "hahaha, it is all mine" Rhee happily laughed. The bottle disappears into the giant trench coat. She hands Guimel a lava lamp.  
  
"what is this?"  
  
"idounno, I think it is called a lava lamp. Katty plugs it into the wall and it blobs around. Just don't touch it, it is hot. Or eat it, it is made out of monkey lard."  
  
"what's a monkey?"  
  
"I donnuw that either..." Rhee rushes out to find Dilly, who she thinks is looking for her friend, Katty.  
  
Katty jumps on Folken's lumpy bed.  
  
"hey! This bed is lumpy! It reminds me of the mash potatoes in the cafeteria!! I added a surprise to those too!!" Katty yells over her thumping on the bed. Folken's expression doesn't change. Good thing he didn't eat those potatoes. "but, the biggest surprise was in the muffins!!" Katty gleefully said as Folken's face dropped.  
  
He had more than a few of those...  
  
RENCH  
  
"Dornkirk what are you doing in my bathroom again?!" Folken angrily shouts.  
  
"I see two people running in the toilet. One is that little monster we call Diland—"  
  
"you mean Dilly!!!!" Katty bounces into the elegant bathroom.  
  
"respect you elders, raga muffin!" Folken turns a green again.  
  
"another is entwined with this girl, actually both shadows are over this girl." Dornkirk looks at the girl who is examining her ends.  
  
"good no split ends! I just got my hair cut" she stated.  
  
"were you even listening?" Dornkirk demanded.  
  
"Huh?? Not really, but go on."  
  
"Well, Diland-"  
  
"Dilly!!"  
  
"And the other's shadow are overlapping yours." Katty looks behind her.  
  
"You've got it wrong, my shadow isn't interrupted expect for the sink. Plus Dilly is somewhere in the maze of a fortress." Katty sighs.  
  
"I wish he was here right now. He is kinda fun to be around." Folken lifts a mental eyebrow. Maybe this girl could be the chosen one, the one to free him of Dilandau by throwing his crown into the towel which it was made in...  
  
"Well, all this running around has made me thirsty, where is the water storage?" Katty asked patting her tummy.  
  
"It is down the hall on your left, three doors down. It has stairs that lead down."  
  
"Ok!" Katty bounced out the door down to the wine cellar. This time she followed the instructions unlike when she made the fruit punch...  
  
She found herself surrounded by millions of wine bottles. She gasped with glee as she began her search for the pretty garnet colored wine that Dilandau had a taste for. She first picked up a white wine.  
  
"Not it," she tosses it over her head. Next bottle is a yellow.  
  
"Not you either." She picks up the dark purple one as the yellow wine crashes to the floor.  
  
"Nope," and speeds up her search. "No, no, no, no way, nope, not you, or this one, almost, but no, no, nah, duck, duck, duck, goose! Oh wait false alarm, nope, nope not you!"  
  
Meanwhile....  
  
Dilandau rushes into Folken's hallway. The wine cellar's, which Folken insisted would be in his hall, not Dilandau's (no surprise), door stood wide open. Ominous crashes came from the room. It almost sounded like someone smashing glass... Dilandau's eyes widen.  
  
"not the wine! Anything but the wine!" Dilandau hoarsely screams as he rushes to save the wine. He sees Katty examined each bottle before she tosses behind her. Dilandau manages to catch one of the tossed aside bottles.  
  
"my precious, my precious, I won't let anyone hurt you again," he turns to Katty, "what are you doing???!?!?!?!?!?"  
  
"hi Dilly! I didn't know you were here! I am looking for the wine!" Katty explained happily as the pryo grasped for another falling bottle.  
  
"You mean my wine?? It isn't in this rack. Stop throwing the wine! My precious!" Dilandau cried as Katty stopped in mid throw.  
  
"Where is your wine?" her eyes widen.  
  
"Over here,..." he said, and to make sure she didn't destroy any more bottles, "I'll show you. Follow me." Katty stuck close to Dilandau as he led the way to a vending machine in the back of the cellar.  
  
"it is this one," he points to the Code Red icon on the cola machine. Katty jams the button down.  
  
Clunk.  
  
A wine bottle appears.  
  
"Might as well get one for me while I am here." Click. .....  
  
"Huh? Why didn't one come out?" Dilandau puzzled over the missing wine.  
  
"Watch and learn," Katty kicks the machine, then shakes it. It buzzes and another bottle comes out.  
  
"There you go!" she smiled as she turned to leave. She turns to show a foolish grin.  
  
"ummmm, .. I don't know how to get out...." Dilandau gulped. He didn't know either.  
  
Meanwhile...  
  
Folken misses the peppy girl, and goes after her to make sure she isn't lost or stolen. You never know what could happen to you on the poop ship. He is slightly relieved as he sees the wine cellar's door open. She had found that, but did she find the water? He floats down the stair to find himself in a pool of liquid.  
  
"What is this?" he asks himself as he bends over the mixed wine. He puts it to his nose and sniffs. "Oh-no. My poor wines. I shall pray for you..."he breaks down and starts to cry. He knows not to cry over spilled milk, and he wasn't. This was his wine, he had tended to the vines and watched the seeds spilt the soil, the vine gain leaves and then tiny grapes.... okay, he didn't. He just didn't like alcohol to go to waste. Someone lands on Folken, and Folken face paints himself with the wine.  
  
"oh, good. Thanks to this odd-looking rug. Good thing I fell on it, or I would have kept running. My brakes were cut." Rhee brushes her/ himself off. Folken, whose hair has changed to a lovely color of burgundy, heaves the unwanted intruder off himself. "who are you?" Folken's voice wavers as he licks his lips. The mixed wine wasn't that bad tasting, amazingly.  
  
"who are you, and why were you laying on the floor? You and your lovely cloak were slopping up this mixed alcohol, right?" Rhee inspects Folken's dreary cloak. "my, did you get that at cloaks are us? I always get mine there. And I love your black leather un-outfit! My what awesome fashion taste you have. Unlike Katty, she insists that I have no taste, but you most definitely do!!"  
  
"why thank you, most people saw that I am so dreary. I just think this is so me. A lot of people don't understand." Folken connects with this trench coat wearing stranger.  
  
"I am Rhee. I know. It is one and a million who understand the true potential of a cloak or coat." Rhee sympathized with Folken.  
  
"I am Folken. I am lord of this crappy tooth-like floating ship. I am glad to you."  
  
"here" Rhee offers her left hand. Folken takes the hand with his true hand, which of you know is it easier to get up with the same hand. Folken's left hand is actually his true hand. Rhee pulls Folken foreword, and the master of the poop ship heads to his room. "aren't you going to clean this up," Rhee gestured to the wine. Folken stares a while.  
  
"no, I am going to my room to call a servant to clean it up and order some more. If you wish you can come too..."  
  
"okay, I lost Dilandau in here. He was chasing after Katty..." Folken stared at the cellar. He shuttered. He didn't want to know what was going to happen in the dark cellar.  
  
Meanwhile....  
  
"we will just end up going in circles, so.." Dilandau tried to think about how to solve the problem.  
  
Crash.  
  
"what are you doing?" he yelled at Katty, who was smashing wine again. She looked up at him.  
  
"we can use broken wine bottles instead of bread crumbs! And when we find the way out, we can drink instead of eating the poor granny's candy house!" Katty cheerful screwed up one of our childhood memories of the story Hansle and Grettal. Dilandau nodded. He had heard of that weird folk tale From the mystic moon. He frankly thought the children where little pigs and diverse to burn. But that was another story; Dilandau burns fat children from the mystic moon. And in America, there where higher death tolls than any other country. Poor fat, pudgy children.  
  
But again, that is another story. We are talking about the joyful blond, and the crazy silver haired pryo.  
  
Dilandau gives in as Katty begins to smash bottles at a faster rate. Hugging his wine, he chases after her. Katty's eye widen, and she begins to laugh evilly.  
  
"break, bwahahahahahah! Die wine, die!!!!! BwhHhhahahahhahha! You shall pay!!!" Dilandau is a little creeped out about this, but since we see Dilandau do it all the time, it is nothing to new for us. He just didn't think any one else did. He thought he was special. Now he knew he wasn't. he had met his match.  
  
"well, you can give me back my tiara now." He growled as Katty pause to breath heavily.  
  
"no."  
  
"give it now!.....ouch what was that for?" Dilandau rubbed his smarting cheek.  
  
"you were going to raise your hand against your superior. I saw you raise your hand. I want to see twenty push ups now!" Katty commanded Dilandau. Dilandau jumped to the floor and began to do his punishment. When he reaches about fifteen he realizes what he was doing.  
  
"you can't command me! I am my own lord!"  
  
"insubordination again, is it? Twenty more push ups!" Katty leaned over to give off the intimidating stance. Dilandau's tiara stared Dilandau down. Katty sneered and furrowed her brows, giving an ominous look. He felt belittled and rushed to comply to the wishes. He began to do his punishment. A servant walks by to see Dilandau kissing the feet of a girl...? No wait he was doing push-ups. Why was he doing that here? Why were they in the cellar in the first place? Oh, the servant sees to bottles of wine on the ground. Dilandau was going to get drunk again. Better alert all staff members. When this young lord got drunk, he ended up abusing the staff into little black lumps. The girl yawns, and catches the sight of the servant.  
  
"my hero! Do you know the way out??" Katty kicks Dilandau as he finishes his last push up. "we are saved, no thanks to you." She sneered. Dilandau gulped.  
  
"wait! I am the lord!" he tries to snatch the tiara again.  
  
"silly Dilly! I was joking! I can't believe you! You actually did what I said!" she hugs Dilandau, and then proceeds to pull the stunned pryo after the servant.  
  
"wait! The wine!"  
  
"oh yeah!" Katty drags Dilandau back and snatches the bottles. The servant was shocked how the lord kind of put up with the girl's antics.  
  
Then nothing happens for about three days... So we will fast forward though the boring parts.  
  
Zzzzziiiiiiiiiipppppppppppp....  
  
Shouts were could be heard from the slayers' locker room. The slayers were no longer big bruises, and they decided to celebrate. They invited Katty, Rhee, Folken, and Dilandau (if they didn't invite Dilly, they would be back in the medical ward). The boys had decided to play a tournament game of bullshit. But it began to get confusing about who was winning. So Viole volunteered an interesting idea.  
  
"we could play strip bull-shit!" the gay guys agreed, well because they were gay. Do I need to spell it out? They wanted to see each other un- secretly. The ungay guys wanted to see Katty undress. If I forgot to tell you, during the three days Shesta, who was gay, ended up with his face in Katty's bust. That's why he isn't gay, and the guys wanted to see what size she wore. Most bets were on double D's.  
  
So the straight guys agreed. Katty agreed, totally unaware of the drooling men with perverted ideas were watching her. The transsexual agreed. Folken and Dilly agreed, because they didn't have any better ideas. In the first round Dallet, Gatti, Guimel and Viole lost. Dilandau insisted that they not take off their boxers, but once that was the last item and they lost, they were out. Katty went against a servant, she won only losing her top. Dilandau won by only losing his boots and his shirt. Folken and Rhee were still at it. Folken had about a million socks, and Rhee had about a million shirts. Miguel won by his shorts, and Shesta was crying because Katty wouldn't face him because she didn't want him to strip. She just couldn't do that to someone so much like her little brother. So she had pulled a servant aside. The second round was not much more interesting except that Dilly seemed to be cheating. Miguel and Shesta lost to Katty and Dilly. Rhee and Folken had made little progress if any. Katty had lost her shoes in this round, but Dilly had lost his under shirt, and his shorts.  
  
So that left Katty and Dilandau in the strip bullshit finals. And things began to pick up intensity. The gay guys wanted Katty to win, and the straights wanted Dilandau. But they were all cheering for Dilandau, other wise...they might not live to tell the tale of how Katty won the final game. Katty was first to guess wrong, and forfeited her socks to the giant pile of discarded clothes. Dilandau then lost his socks. So if you were to come in the locker room totally unaware of the whole party, you would see a bunch of boxer-wearing slayers circled around a boxer wearing Dilly, and a miniskirt bra wearing Katty, and in the middle of this was a pile of the slayers clothes.. The straight guys loved to watch as Katty would stare at her cards, for she was un-consciously pushing her boobs together.  
  
"how about we make a deal?" Dilly offered Katty. She looked up from her cards.  
  
"what would it be??" she was intrigued.  
  
"next one to lose loses everything, and has to decide what to do with the slayer's clothes. Either to burn them, or something else..."  
  
"hey! That isn't fair, that is an advantage to you!"  
  
"so what? What are you going to do about it??? Boys..." the slayers crowed Katty. Katty frowned.  
  
"okay. Bull-shit." Dilly gasped, and then pouted.  
  
"I am not playing anymore!" he declared. Kat bounced up.  
  
"I was right, wasn't I!"  
  
"no! I for-fit!"  
  
"but that still means I won!" Katty claimed the pile of clothes. She handed the slayers back their clothing. An angry Dilly pulled Katty's top out of the pile.  
  
"haaahahahahah, say I won and I'll give back your top." Katty pouted. She thought and grabbed the next piece of clothing, Dilly's shirt.  
  
"I'll just wear this!" she swung it on her person. She nearly collapsed under the weight at first, but then after regaining her balance started to zip up the leather shirt. The zipper got up to Katty's boobs, and then refused to go any higher. She struggled with it for about a minute, gaining about an inch, and gave up.  
  
"look at me I am Dilly! I have his tiara and shirt." Katty gleefully pranced around the slayer's locker room. Just then Dornkrik hobbles into the room.  
  
"I am lost, which way is Folken's bathroom?" Katty stopped to look at the old geezer.  
  
"I am not telling you!!!" Katty snarled. Dornkirk stared to cry and left the locker room. Katty smiled as Dilandau yanked her back off the bench. He kissed her, and she smacked him. She happily ran out of the room wearing Dilly's tiara and shirt. The slayers and Dilly didn't see her for a very long time. But Rhee stayed with them. Rhee cleared up the confusion about Dilly's girly-ness.  
  
"I am your father, Dilandau."  
  
Enough said.  
  
Oh, yea Rhee won the game after Folken ran out of socks. Rhee laughs, she/ he still had two shirts left.  
  
After many months, Dilandau's tan line disappeared, and he was fitted in to a new armored shirt. Dilandau never forgot how a girl out smarted him though. Not that it would be very hard to do.... But once again that is another story, Dilly is outsmarted by chipmunks that live in a laundry chute. But we are here at the end of our stupid little story that has taken up valuable memory on my crappy Escaflowne ridded hard drive. Needless to say, I won't miss the empty space. I have moved it from my computer to my head. I need to say good-bye, but I just can't.  
  
Sob  
  
"Did you know that contrary to popular belief, peas porridge that has been in the pot nine days old grows mold?" Dilandau lifts his face from the slop to meet the familiar not a lunch lady's blue eyes. She smiled.  
  
"I really don't recommend that you eat that, Dilly. And that taste test isn't going to settle to well...."  
  
The end! 


	2. Dilly & fat kids

Hahahahaha, we're back! Yeah, just read it!  
  
Disclaimer---um, we don't own anything that we are using in this story. So....deal with it.  
  
On the giant floating crap ship Voine, the dragon slayers, Dilandau, Folken, Rhee, and Katty sat looking at a sunset.  
  
"Awwww, isn't this so relaxing?" Katty sighed. Dilandau twitched.  
  
"No!" he screamed as he jumped up. "What the hell are we doing up here??!?!!? Logically we couldn't live in the upper atmosphere with out air!!! Why are we still alive??!?!!?" Everyone turned to look at Dilandau quizedly.  
  
"When did you become so smart?" Folken asked, even he didn't know that.  
  
"What do you mean become? I am naturally smart!" Dilandau huffed.  
  
"Naturally smart retardant" Dallet whispered to Gatty. Gatty snorted.  
  
"What did you say?" Dilandau's red eyes squinted towards his slayers.  
  
"Nothing, Dilandau-sama." Dallet responded, smirking.  
  
"We are up here because," everyone turned to look at Katty, "because...I want to be up here."  
  
"How then, are we still alive?" Dilandau screamed. Katty blinked at him.  
  
"We're are all dead, I died last time I came on the ship. Folken was there too. Rhee was the first to realize that we were dead, and so I guess you guys died too..." Rhee laughed. Dilandau heaved, breathing heavily.  
  
"I...can...not...breath...!!" Dilandau huffed, his face turning red. The slayers begin to clutch their necks as they struggle to breath.  
  
"Well, since you all look sick, we should go inside..." Katty sadly stated.  
  
"What the hell were you trying to do?" Dilandau asked Katty as she climbed down the ladder.  
  
"To see the sunset." Katty blissfully ran off. "Shesta, wait for me!!!"  
  
"What a woman," Dilandau growled, cracking his knuckles.  
  
"Yeah, but you got to admit that she does add a certain something.." Folken pondered.  
  
"Yup, she adds that whole catastrophic element in life." Rhee added.  
  
"Just how are you two related?" Folken asked, he couldn't connect them at all.  
  
"We were friends, and ummm that's about it.." Rhee stared at the guymelefs in the hanger. "If you'll excuse me, I have work to do.."  
  
"Well, Dornkirk probably wants to talk to me..." Folken dashed off towards his room. And I mean he was sprinting away from Dilandau as fast as he could. Dilandau stared speechlessly at the running Folken.  
  
"I didn't know he had legs..."  
  
"Again, I say, Dilandau is naturally smart retardant." Dallet said from above Dilandau.  
  
"I heard that Dallet!" Dilandau yelled as he rushed towards the stairs. He wasn't about to let a beating go undone.  
  
"Quiet! I have an announcement!" Katty shrieked over the mumbles off the infirmary ward. The slayers were crammed in to a single room, since Dallet couldn't move.  
  
"Quiet!" The slayers stopped pushing each other, and stared at Katty, who was now standing on the medical table.  
  
"I have called all of you to this very important meeting because I am taking you guys on vacation with me!" the slayers mumbled between themselves, they hadn't been on vacation. Dilandau believed that training was a vacation from him beating them up. That was their type of vacation.  
  
"Where are we going?" Shesta asked.  
  
"We're going to the mystic moon, and we're going to see a movie!!" Kat gleefully said.  
  
"Huh?" the slayers looked at each other, had they heard her right? Was she serious? Had they brushed their teeth yet? These were the questions they wanted answered.  
  
"What's a movie," Gatty asked, the slayers nodded. Katty's face fell.  
  
"Oh, yeah, you guys haven't been on the mystic moon, have you?" The slayers shook their heads no. "And you guys would stand out, with your clothes and hair styles...." Katty tapped her finger on her chin. "Hmmmmm, I can help. I know the latest fads over there...would you like to go with me?"  
  
"Yeah!" the slayers cheered together.  
  
"Alright!" Katty smiled, and jumped off the table. "First we'll tackle hair cuts!" She brought out a huge pair of wool clippers. "Heheheheheheee."  
  
"No! Not my beautiful hair!!!" Voile cried as he rushed towards the door. Guimel tackled Voile.  
  
"You got to do it. Do it for me, just think of it as a romantic get away..." Guimel said to his struggling gay partner.  
  
"Ewwww, stop it! You two are grossing me out!" Miguel shielded his eyes away from the two who began nuzzling.  
  
"Miguel, you're first." Katty's eyes danced with her ideas.  
  
"What are you doing?" Dilandau yelled up towards Rhee. He dodged falling objects, some familiar, some not.  
  
"I am answering the call." Rhee shouted back as he/she flung a chunk of the cockpit at the captain.  
  
"What the hell are you doing?! You're destroying my guymelef!" Dilandau roared at Rhee.  
  
"Funny, this mobile suit's name is guacamole too? I thought it was Guimel; after all, that's what the sign says..." Rhee glanced at the sign.  
  
"No, that's the name of the slayer who uses that guymelef. They don't have names! Only weirdoes name their guymelefs" Dilandau growled. He wasn't known for his patience.  
  
"Well, then you guys are some weirdoes..." Rhee mumbled as she/he continued to take apart the suit.  
  
"What did you say?"  
  
"I just said that my suit was in the corner." Rhee tinkered some more on Guimel's guymelef. Dilandau glanced at the corner of the hanger.  
  
"What the..." Dilandau did double takes at the giant black shadow. "That's not a guymelef!"  
  
"No, it's not. It's a mobile suit. A-mobile-suit." Rhee repeated her- himself. So, even the captain is slow, and here I just thought it was Dallet...Rhee thought. This place is full of idiots.  
  
"All, done!" Katty wiped the back of her hand on her fore head. The slayers trudged back to their shower hall, all except Dallet, who was still in the medical bed. The slayers looked at each other, each hoping that they didn't look like the rest did. Katty did seem a little eager to cut their hair for them, and they were stupid enough to let her...  
  
"Oh my god!" Dilandau stared at his slayers as they entered the training hall. "What in the world happened to you guys?" Dilandau rubbed his eyes, but the slayers remained the same.  
  
"Katty happened..." the slayers looked hesitantly at each other. It wasn't a pretty sight. "What are you supposed to be anyways?" Dilandau looked at the slayers, there must be a connection between the madness.  
  
"They're the g- boys!" Katty's shriek came from the hallway. She burst into the hall, smiling widely. "I made them the Gundam wing boys! And one more!" she rummaged through her bag, which was fabled to be a bottomless pit. She found a book, and pointed at the cover. "Look, this one, Heero, is Gatty. But Gatty had blond hair so I dyed it. But it didn't come out brown...more of a muddy color. This one, Duo, has brown hair too, but Voile was the only one who had long enough hair to braid. Voile was lucky; I didn't have any more hair dye... This one, his name is Quatre, is Shesta. They are so much alike didn't have to do much! Dallet is Wuffei, cause I don't like Wuffei. Trowa is really cool, so I made Miguel him. But I told Miguel to not die, cause I like Trowa too, and I didn't want Trowa to die. And then I got to Guimel, but I ran out of boys...so I made him Relena. She's a snob who falls for Heero. Except my Heero isn't gay, oh well." Katty rambled on as Dilandau picked up the manga.  
  
"What is this?"  
  
"Oh, that's my manga. It's a comic book." Katty shoved it back into her bag, and pulled out another. "This is the Escaflowne one..." Dilandau winced at the name.  
  
"Let me see it!" Katty pulled it way.  
  
"Noooooo!" she screams putting back into her bag quickly.  
  
"Why not?" Dilandau pouted. "I'm in it right? I want to see myself!!" he grabbed her backpack, only to find other junk.  
  
"Let go," Katty snatched the bag away. "I don't like the manga as much as I like the series." Plus you're some creepy weirdo in the manga, she thought. She pulled out the DVD case. Dilandau stared a few minutes before figuring out how to open it. He pulled out the DVD.  
  
"What's this?" he twists it around, making the shine go in the slayer's eyes. He laughed and they shielded their eyes from the glare.  
  
"It's a DVD, but I forgot my mini TV, so we can't watch it..." Katty took the DVD out of Dilandau's hands. Dilandau growled a bit.  
  
"So, why did you give them hair cuts? I kinda liked the old ones. Sorta, at least I knew that they were less handsome than mine," Dilandau flicked his hair. The slayers rolled their eyes.  
  
"Don't worry, I think they are less handsome. But they're coming with me to the mystic moon to see the new movie, Spiderman two!" Katty hopped up and down. "I can't wait! We're going tomorrow!"  
  
"I want to come!" Dilandau whined.  
  
"Oh course you can, Dilly, but you need to got incognito. Or you'll not live. You never know about how dangerous the girls on the mystic moon can be..."  
  
"I do too!" Dilandau traced the line of his scar. He agreed to go in disguise; he didn't want more scars to ruin his perfect complexion. 'Perfectly ruined complexion' was what Dallet would have said, but he was still in the medical ward from the last remark.  
  
Rhee made sure that every last one was strapped in tightly. The van was packed full with the guests Katty insisted to come home with.  
  
"You know that the apartment won't hold this many people, Katty."  
  
"Yeah, but we're not going to the apartment. First we are seeing Spidey two, and them we're going to go scuba diving! Hurry up and get Folken!" Kat started squirming. Dilandau pouted on the other side of her, he didn't want to wear the stupid jeans and baseball cap Katty had given him. She had told him it was better than what Guimel was wearing; a girl's school outfit. This seemed to make Voile very happy; they were sitting in the back with Miguel. Gatty sat in the trunk, and Shesta sat in the middle with Katty and Dilandau. Folken grunted as he put on the seat belt, and Rhee turned to count the passengers.  
  
"One, two...seven, hey we're missing someone!" Rhee frowned.  
  
"Really?!!" Katty turned to look at the guys, "oh, we're missing Dallet. He's still in the medical ward."  
  
"Oh, never mind. I strapped him onto the top of the van. Okay Folken take us out." Folken revved up the car, and drove at full speed off the hanger. "What are you doing idiot! Now we're going to die!" Dilandau screamed, watching the forest coming closer to them. A blue pillar of light caught them, and they were transported to a highway on Earth.  
  
"We're here!" Katty started to trash wildly. "We're here!" The slayers rushed to either side of the van to get a good look.  
  
"Hey, Voile your hair is in my way!" and other complaints were heard in the front. Folken glazed at the buildings on either side.  
  
"Kept you focus on the road, Folken." Rhee grabbed the steering that Folken had let go of. The van swerved to the right, causing everyone in the back to crush the person to their right.  
  
"Get off!" Dilandau shoved Katty off him.  
  
"Ouch, that hurt!" Katty smacked Dilandau. Shesta started to sniffle.  
  
"What's wrong, Shesta?" Dilandau leaned over to see his slayer. Katty turned to look at Shesta too. Shesta started to sob. Blood poured out his nose.  
  
"Ewwwwww!!!! Gross...." Katty scrambled to get the tissues. She started tossing them at Shesta, who was trashing because Miguel was holding up Shesta's head and pinching Shesta's nose to stop the bleeding.  
  
"Who's touching me?!?!" Shesta cried in between his sobs.  
  
"Stop it!!! I'm only trying to help!" Miguel clutched his cheek, were Shesta had hit him.  
  
"This is soooo gross!" Katty gagged as she grabbed Shesta's hand. She continued to retch silently as she put tissues in Shesta's hand. Dilandau grabbed the tissue box.  
  
"Hey! Give me some!" Katty wailed as Shesta's other hand feels for some more tissues.  
  
"No!! Shesta is my man. He can get over a little nose bleed!" Dilandau swatted away Katty's hands. The whole van looks at Dilandau. Shesta's hands pulled at Katty's shorts, which Shesta thought were more tissues. Katty jumped, causing the time freeze to end.  
  
"Your man?" Voile leaned on the back of Dilandau's chair. Dilandau scrambled to get away as Voile started to play with his silver hair.  
  
"What are you doing?!!" Dilandau screamed.  
  
"Well, since you just announced that you have a man, we all thought you were gay..." Guimel said, hugging the sniffling Voile, who was hurt that his commander didn't want to be gay. Katty smiled happily, as she seized the tissues from the scared Dilandau.  
  
"I meant that he is one of my dragon slayers!" Dilandau roared at the two gay buddies in the back. "Stop that!! You're grossing me out!! Miguel, switch seats with Guimel!" Guimel sighed disappointedly, but Miguel looked like he is facing his death sentence. Shesta, who finally had finished his nosebleed, patted Miguel on the hand.  
  
"Well, it was nice knowing you." Shesta's voice quivered.  
  
"What do you mean, Shesta?" Dilandau growled.  
  
"Miguel always dies first when he does special orders, Dilandau-sama." Dilandau frowned.  
  
"He's still alive." Dilandau smacked Miguel, whose first reaction was to put his hand to his face. "See, he's still moving." Voile sat moodily in the back, pouting.  
  
"Hey, we're here!" Rhee announced. "Finally." Rhee muttered to Folken, who nods. His hands were getting tired of all the buttons. (But there's only a wheel....) Everyone pilled out of the car, and Rhee got Dallet off the top. Dallet was mumbling something to himself, and his eyes were scared like a chased animal. Then Rhee opened the trunk, to find a passed out Gatty. Rhee dumps him out of the trunk. Katty looked at Rhee's watch.  
  
"It's almost time for the movie! We got to go now!" Katty grabbed Gatty, and Shesta's hands as she pulled them towards the mall. Gatty had just woken up and was thoroughly confused.  
  
"Um, Katty, shouldn't we have a buddy system?" Folken looked at the group, someone was bound to get lost. Katty sighed impatiently, but stopped.  
  
"Fine," she pouted as Folken patted her head.  
  
"Miguel!" Shesta cried as he hugged Miguel.  
  
"What are you doing?" Miguel tried to pry Shesta off.  
  
"Save me from being lord Dilandau's partner!" Shesta cried. Dilandau glared at Shesta. Shesta squealed, and dashed behind Miguel.  
  
"Don't worry Shesta-baby!" Katty jumped on Dilandau. "I'll be Dilly's partner, since I know my way around, and we don't want our most dangerous buddy to upset the little peoples." Katty started to drag Dilandau to the mall. "We're all ready." Folken nodded as he counted four pairs. He shuddered when he saw that Guimel and Voile were partners.  
  
"Okay, we're off." Rhee grabbed Katty's shirt. "Adults first." Katty pouted, but stayed behind Rhee. They got into the theater just fine. The group was slip into a few smaller pairs.  
  
"There's not enough leg room!" Dilandau kicked the back off the person's chair in front of him.  
  
"Hey stop that!" Folken growled as he chopped Dilandau's foot.  
  
"Ouch that hurt." Dilandau clutched his foot.  
  
"It was meant to hurt. Now stop." Folken growled as he turned around to watch the previews. Dilandau crossed his arms as he flopped back into his chair.  
  
"Stupid Folken."  
  
"Dilly," Dilandau looked at Katty, who was staring at the screen. "Get me some pop corn, and candy, and soda. But mainly I want popcorn. You know the other line that Rhee stood in after we got the tickets? That's the popcorn line,.... so, here, get me some." Katty handed a 50-dollar bill to Dilandau as he grumbled some more.  
  
Finding the line was no problem, but it had grown larger. Dilandau stood patiently in line for what Katty had called popcorn. He looked at the sign above the cash registers, which had advertisements on them. Dilandau faintly hears the fat girl in the front of the line say, "super size me!" He counted the people before him in line.  
  
"Okay, there are twelve elephants and zero people." Dilandau muttered, these people were even larger than Dornkirk in his stupid vision seeing machines. He tapped his foot impatiently. The cry "super size me!" came again. And again and again. Dilandau was now very ticked off, the line hadn't moved, and these children were getting giant bowls of buttered something.  
  
"I want my buttery delicious gift from heaven now!" Dilandau screamed in rage as he read what the sign said. He had amazed himself in actually going to the line, and not telling Katty to get it herself. Then what made him even more amazed, was that he had waited in a line. But the biggest surprise was that everyone in the dam line was getting the stupid super sized bowls. Dilandau tapped his fingers on his hips before wiping out his flamethrower (which Katty had disgusted as a purse, so the movie people wouldn't get suspicious. Except now it looked like Dilandau was weird but....)  
  
"Die!" he screamed as he torched the fat kid in front of him. "Heheheheehhheee." Dilandau chuckled as he moved foreword. He slipped in a puddle of ...  
  
"What is this!?" Dilandau screamed as he looked as his hands. Instead of ashes from being burned, the fat boy had left a puddle of fat and grease behind. Dilandau retch, this was disgusting. He got up and torched a few more fat kids, but the guy in the very front wasn't flammable. He was by far the biggest one. "So, this is the king of the fatties." Dilandau tried bunches of times to set the boy aflame. The boy's fat seemed to be a flameproof vest almost, and Dilandau snarled in vain as his beloved flamethrower ran out of fuel. "Damn Folken, he couldn't just stop to get gas, he needed to use my lighter fluid." Dilandau cursed as he stood in a puddle of grease.  
  
"Super size me, four times!" the fat boy said in a muddled voice. Dilandau stood, and stood, but the kid just seemed order more and more junk food. He began to nibble the bill that Katty had given him.  
  
"Yuck, this tastes awful. Katty really needs to get cooking lessons or something." Dilandau snarled as the fat kid finally left. He rushed up to the counter.  
  
"I want popcorn, sweets, gummies, soda and buttery delicious gift from heaven." Dilandau order, the geeky girl sniffled.  
  
"Okay that will be 23.85" Dilandau looked at her, and place the bill Katty had given him to search for his wallet. The girl took the fifty and placed the change back on the counter.  
  
"What do you want? Two popcorns?" the geeky girl rubbed her nose on the back of her hand.  
  
"Uummm, yeah, whatever." Dilandau grabbed the snacks off the counter, and rushed to the movie. But the door was blocked by fat. Dilandau groaned, the fat kid was so fat that he blocked the whole door way. Dilandau winced, but he was able to climb up the fat, and get over the fat kid and into the theater. He rubbed his hands on the back of Folken's cloak as he sat down next to Katty.  
  
"What took you so long?" Katty asked, looking at Dilandau, not the previews, which were still playing.  
  
"Fat kids." Dilandau muttered, Katty nodded.  
  
"They always are here." Dilandau grunted. He looked at the theater; the fat kid had a good point, though. The theater wasn't full because the other people coming to this movie couldn't get past him. The slayers had the movie theater to themselves. Gatty, Shesta, Miguel, and Dallet sat in the row just before Rhee and Folken. He and Katty sat right behind them, but Guimel and Voile were in the very back...  
  
"That's gross." Dilandau pointed back to the two, who were making out. Katty shivered, and nodded.  
  
"Yea.. Hey it's starting!" Katty looked at the screen.  
  
"Huh, what?" Dilandau looked at her.  
  
"There!" she points to the screen. Dilandau stares at her confused. She sighs and moves Dilandau's face towards the screen.  
  
"Oh.."  
  
"Shhh!" Dilandau frowns, but continues to look at the opening credits. Dilandau shifts around in the way to plushy chairs and making lots of noise. The chair squeaked and Dilandau thrashed around, trying to make music with the different sounds. Folken turned around, and grabbed Dilandau's foot.  
  
"Stop it, now." Folken's metal arms clamped hard around Dilandau's foot.  
  
"Ouch!"  
  
"Shhhh!" Folken released Dilandau's foot and turned to the movie. Dilandau frowned and shoved popcorn into his mouth, it wasn't too bad. Katty shoved a box of gummies at Dilandau.  
  
"Want some?" she whispered. Dilandau graded the box and pulled a few out. He started to gag.  
  
"What are you trying to do, kill me?" Dilandau spit out the stone. Katty frowned and looked at the box.  
  
"Oh, look Dilly. It says here that these are packed by retarded people."  
  
"So, would you have happened to pack this one?"  
  
"No," Katty glared at Dilandau, "that was mean, but it explains why the box was half full, and that you just ate a stone." Dilandau glared back.  
  
"Shut the hell up!" Miguel turned around and yelled at the two. They both pout and turned back to the screen. The movie started and the lights dimmed.  
  
"I can't see!!! I'm scared!!!!" Shesta's cries came from the front. Miguel and Gatty covered Shesta's mouth from letting any more wails out. Rhee and Folken sat quietly watching the movie, each munching on their popcorn.  
  
"I really like that dr. oct guy's extendtions. They're pretty cool, maybe Dornkirk will let me get some..." Folken whispered to Rhee. Rhee nodded.  
  
"Yea, he's got some heavy duty metal gears there, but his theories are all wrong. You...." Rhee went on to a huge explanation on how the theories were wrong.  
  
"Hey! Look, do you see that?" Folken shook his head.  
  
"No, what are you talking about?"  
  
"A fly! On the screen!" the two stared for the rest of the movie at the fly that buzzed on the screen. Little bit of buttery gifts of heaven handed on Folken.  
  
"What the?" Folken turned to see Dilandau smirking. Katty unconsciously reached into Dilandau's tub for more popcorn. "Stop that" Folken hissed.  
  
"And what are you going to do about it?"  
  
"Shhh!" Dilandau glared, he couldn't tell who kept 'shhh' ing him but it as getting very annoying. Dilandau reached for more popcorn to throw at Folken, only to discover that Katty had emptied it. He reached for Katty's bowl.  
  
"What do you think you're doing?!" Katty whispered madly at him.  
  
"Getting back at Folken." Dilandau stated.  
  
"Shhhhh"  
  
"No, I already did something. But I need more soda, Dilly, get some for me."  
  
"Gatty! Get some more soda!" Dilandau commandeered. Gatty grumbled, but got up and scaled the door blocker, wincing.  
  
"Here, lord Dilandau." Gatty huffed as he handed Dilandau the giant soda.  
  
"Here," Dilandau handed it to Katty, who slurped it happily. "Hey, I want some!"  
  
"No, it's mine!" Katty said, still watching the screen. Dilandau took a sip anyways.  
  
"Ewwww!!!! You're gross!"  
  
"Katty, clam down. What's wrong." Rhee sighed, as Rhee turned to her friend who was standing up now.  
  
"He just took a sip of my soda, and he back washes!"  
  
"Ewwww" was the cry of the movie theater.  
  
"Even I don't do that!" Voile's voice was heard from the back.  
  
"Well, you pick your nose!" Dilandau screamed back.  
  
"Hey I do not!" everyone turns to see Voile, who is picking his nose.  
  
"Just shut up!" Miguel screamed, but Shesta squealed.  
  
"I think I just peed in my pants!" Shesta cried. The movie had just been a little too scary for the slayer.  
  
"Pitiful," Dilandau sighed as he shrunk back into his chair.  
  
"Kill him kill him!" Katty screamed at the screen, clutching Dilandau's arm. She continued to scream, and tightened her grip on his arm. His arm began to tingle, and then he couldn't feel it....  
  
"Let go!" Dilandau retched his arm out of Katty's grasp.  
  
"Shhh!" Dilandau stared puzzled at the shh. Katty had been screaming her head off, but did they shhh her.... no  
  
"Sorry, Dilly." Katty sighed. "Sometimes I get into the movies so much that I lose myself."  
  
"Have you ever found yourself?" Dilandau growled.  
  
"Shhhh!"  
  
"Shhh to you too!" Dilandau roared, but the ominous shh didn't reply. "Finally." Dilandau grumbled.  
  
"Shhh!" Dilandau jumped up, but Katty grabbed him.  
  
"Sit down! Just watch the movie!" Dilandau snarled, but sat down. He fidgeted some more before throwing the empty popcorn bucket at Folken. Folken rubbed his head as he looked at Dilandau, who began to whistle.  
  
"Dilandau...." Folken glared at the boy, who was watching the movie.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Stop whistling my song." Folken demanded. "I am the only one who can whistle my song." Dilandau frowned, but watched the rest of the movie in silence.  
  
"Wow, that was fun!" Dallet said happily as the police were helping them evacuated the theater. Apparently the fat boy was causing an infraction to the theater safety.  
  
"Yeah, I really liked the pictures of birds that peter took..." Shesta looked at the fat pigeons that wobbled by.  
  
"Burn!" Dilandau stomped up to the birds, which flew away frightened, as were many of the people who were near the party. --Frightened, I mean. The people didn't fly away, Dilandau was being weird, and people were staring. Not flying!!!!  
  
"I really liked when the house burned down, and then other thing burned and the guy died and ..." Dilandau rambled on about the few parts he actually bothered to watch.  
  
"I liked the ending..." Folken sighed. "Because I could get away from Dilandau!" Folken shoved Dilandau. Unfortunately for Folken, the king of fatties was in front of them. Dilandau bounced off the guy's fat and catapulted right back onto Folken.  
  
"Hey! What was that about?!!" Dilandau screamed, jumping up. Folken pushed Dilandau off his cape.  
  
"I know you were the one to stick gummies in my hair, Dilandau." Folken growled. Dilandau blinked.  
  
"You've gummies in your hair?" Dilandau had to see this. Katty covered her face, which was bright red. Rhee rolled her eyes.  
  
"Katty..." Rhee hissed. Katty giggled, and sighed.  
  
"I know, I know...it was just to tempting. Well, time for the beach!" she squealed, saving Folken from Dilandau's attacks. "Come on!" Katty wined, dragging Dilandau after her. "Rhhhheeeeee, come on! Get in the car!" Katty stomped her foot.  
  
"Just hold your horses, Katty." Rhee said as he made one last adjustment to Dallet, who was protesting against being strap on the roof. "There, all done." Rhee sighed, buckling up. "Everyone ready?" Folken nodded, and turned up the music.  
  
"So," Katty turned to the back, "what did you guys like about the movie?"  
  
"I liked." Miguel started.  
  
"Guimel and I didn't really watch. We were having quality time together. And Guimel, I just love that school girl's outfit on you."  
  
"Oh. Thanks Voile!" Guimel giggled. Miguel stared at the two, who were trying to get around him. The gays gave up, smiled evilly, and squished Miguel in between them, as they did perverted things.  
  
"Help! Help! I'm being scared for life!" Miguel's cried.  
  
"Poor Miguel, we shall have to pray for his soul." Folken switched the music to sad orchestras. Katty covered her eyes and Dilandau, who was in shock, stared.  
  
"See, I told you that Miguel was always the first to die...." 


	3. story that has no name

Lalalalala- hello, it's a me, Kat! I've had fun writing this with Rhee. To my friends, you guys are so mean! Thanks for telling me that you like it, but it would be better to review than just to email me!! Arg, but thanks moggot, I love ya! (But I promise that I'm not gay!) Rhee-okay, Kat just scares me right now...on with the story that has really long chapters.  
  
Disclaimer—okay, we don't own anything that deals with our little story, and we morn that every day, just like everyone with out a creative idea in their bones does. We regret that we own none of this, but we hope you enjoy the sugary-hyper filled story we wrote about stuff we don't own! R- that's really long Kat. K-oh well, who cares, nobody ever reads them. R- yea, you're right  
  
"Rhee!!! Stop them! It's scary!" Katty wailed, crying because her eyes hurt. Rhee pulled over. She got out of the car and opened the sliding doors.  
  
"Alright, who switched the seating chart?" Rhee growled. Dilandau gulped, Rhee looked angry.  
  
"Me?" Dilandau offered. Rhee glared.  
  
"How could you?" Katty wailed. Dilandau stared at Katty.  
  
"Because they were being gross..."  
  
"But now Miguel has to suffer!" Katty moaned, hugging Shesta.  
  
"Well, I'm switching Dallet and Miguel." Rhee stood on the door ledge and proceeded to un-strap Dallet from the top of the van.  
  
"Why Dallet?" Shesta asked, which was difficult for him because Katty was half choking him.  
  
"Well, we did some tests. Dallet's one of those people who likes both..." Rhee dropped Dallet off the top of the van. He landed with some curses and Rhee grabbed Miguel.  
  
"What type am I?" Shesta asked, Katty had finally let go of him to argue with Dilandau about the air conditioning controls.  
  
"You're the type that everyone thinks is gay." Rhee pulled Miguel out from the two gays, and Miguel breathed deeply.  
  
"Thanks." Miguel's color slowly returned as he sat in Katty's seat. Katty had abandoned her spot to wrestle with Dilandau.  
  
"I'm hot!" Katty screamed. "Turn up the air conditioning!"  
  
"Okay!" Dilandau grinned evilly and turned up the heat.  
  
"Stop it!" Katty panted.  
  
"Burn! Haha Burn!!!!" Dilandau screamed as sweat trickled down his face. A sudden cool refreshing breeze came over the van. "What happened to my little hell?" Dilandau screamed, trying to turn up the heat again.  
  
"You don't know how hot it is in cloaks Dilandau. I'm surprised that you didn't get too hot in all that leather." Folken glared from the passenger seat. "Thank god for front air conditioning controllers." Folken breathed easily.  
  
"Hey, can Miguel sit with us? I mean I'm pretty small, and so is Katty..." Shesta asked as Rhee began to pull Miguel out of the car. Rhee looked at the 'tiny' slayer.  
  
"Okay...I guess it can't hurt..." Rhee scratched her head.  
  
"Wait!" Katty sat up. "Miguel has to sit on the other side of Shesta. I wanna sit next to Shesta!" Katty whined, clutching Shesta again. She quickly let go. "Ewww, you're all sweaty Shesta!"  
  
"Why don't you want to sit next to Miguel?" Dilandau asked, Miguel was one of the better slayers.  
  
"Because I don't want to die after him!" Katty wailed. Rhee shrugged, but moved Miguel to the window seat.  
  
"Boy, Viole, did I tell you it's getting hot in here?" Guimel licked his lips.  
  
"So hot, I think I'll take off all my clothes!" Viole started to unzip his shirt.  
  
"Hey, how do you undress a man?" Dallet asked as he watched Guimel and Viole kiss.  
  
"Let's teach him!" Guimel screamed flinging Voile's shirt in the trunk. It was flung back. Guimel threw it back in the trunk. It came back.  
  
"Keep you're nasty ass uniform! I don't need it!" a very sweaty and hot Gatti cried from the trunk. The three peered over the back seat. Gatti sat, arms crossed over his crest, pouting.  
  
"What's wrong Gatti?" Dallet asked.  
  
"I can't hear anything you guys are talking about. How do I know you're not talking about me? And the stupid speakers are blaring music in my ears." Gatti retorted spitefully.  
  
"Awww, poor baby." Gatti winced.  
  
"Don't call me that!" he screamed, and just then a certain song came on.  
  
I'm too sexy for my love  
  
Too sexy for my love Love gonna leave me...  
  
"Oh my god!" Viole screamed. "It's our song Guimel!" Guimel began to dance as best he could being strapped down in the set belt. Which is quite hard.... Katty unconscious began to sing with the song.  
  
"I'm too sexy for my shirt too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hurts...I'm too sexy for my land, too sexy..." Katty sang in key. Folken stared at the back.  
  
"Umm, Dilandau, maybe you should do something about them..." Folken pointed to the back. Dilandau, who had been staring at Katty as she sang, looked back.  
  
"Ewww! Stop that now!!!! Put your shirts back on!!" Dilandau screamed at the three topless slayers.  
  
"Does it really hurt to be sexy?" Shesta asked Katty as she hummed the tune.  
  
"No, what are you talking about?" Katty looked at Shesta. She silently continued to sing along with the song.  
  
"Well, you just said that your shirt hurt..." Shesta said, fiddling with his fingers.  
  
"What? You need your shirt taken off? I'll help!" Miguel reached over Shesta and tried to peel Katty's shirt off.  
  
"Help! Help! I'm being violated!" Katty screamed, swatting Miguel's prying fingers.  
  
"What now?" Dilandau barked as he turned around to look at Katty who was now invading his space. He watched as Miguel tried unsuccessfully at getting Katty's shirt.  
  
"Stop that." Folken chopped Miguel's hand.  
  
"Owww." Miguel held his forearm. "That hurt."  
  
"Here, this will stop the pain..." Miguel slumped over as Folken's arm retracted the needle.  
  
"Aahahahahahaha! Miguel's dead!" Shesta squealed. "I think I just peed in my pants again!" Shesta cried as Katty sighed. Folken's face fell.  
  
"Ohmygod." Rhee rolled her eyes as she drove.  
  
"So, how do you undress a man?" Dallet asked.  
  
"Here, we'll resume our instruction..."  
  
By the time they had gotten to the motel, everyone was just about zonked out.  
  
"Hey, Folken, get everyone up." Rhee said as he went to check in.  
  
"K," Folken groggily mumbled. He looked at the passed out members of the car. Miguel was still slumped over; Shesta was hugging Katty, whose hand was draped over Dilandau's lap. Folken didn't look in the back, he didn't think he was strong enough to survive that. Which he wasn't.  
  
"Dilandau." Folken opened up the door that Dilandau was leaning on. Dilandau fell out and instantly woke when he hit the floor.  
  
"Oww, where am I?" Dilandau stared around at the parking garbage. Parking garbage. Now, get the rest of you're slayers out of the car." Folken turned to the luggage. Dilandau mumbled something dealing with how Folken had no right distributing his beauty rest. Dilandau stared at the slayers; he decided that he would start with Shesta.  
  
"Wake up!" Dilandau yelled into Shesta's ears. Shesta winced, but didn't open his eyes. Dilandau smacked him. Shesta sat up, like what you do when a teacher just found you catching up on lost sleep during her lecture about turnips. "Get Miguel up, and then get the ones in the back up." Shesta whimpered at the thought of the 'back', but shook Miguel.  
  
"Miguel, time to get up. Miguel."  
  
"A few minutes." Miguel turned away from Shesta.  
  
"Okay," Shesta whimpered, not wanting to argue with someone who's dead. Shesta turned to the back. Shesta quickly returned his focus at Katty. Shesta rubbed his eyes, which were watering. Shesta shuddered, but can only think of one thing that will wake the sleeping slayers with out looking at them.  
  
"Oh no! Where's my pants!! I can't go around with out my pants! Shesta wailed as he cringed thought the images of what he was saying.  
  
"Really? We'll help you keep your mind off pants!" Viole, Guimel and Dallet sat right up, and looked at Shesta.  
  
"Oh, false alarm." Viole snapped his fingers in disappointment.  
  
"Hey, Miguel's still asleep..." Dallet poked Miguel. "Let's undress him now that I know how!" The other two smiled evilly.  
  
"No! You guys can't do that!" Shesta cried.  
  
"Well, it's either him or you..." Guimel stroked Shesta's cheek.  
  
"You guys have fun!" Shesta smirked half-heartedly. But he was quite happy not to have them touch him. "Katty, get up, come on get up." Shesta nudged Katty, who continued to sleep soundly. He shrugged, he was careful not to look at the three slayer's striping Miguel as he crawled over Katty.  
  
"Don't leave me." Katty latched her arms around Shesta's neck. Shesta blushed, but was slightly disappointed to see she was still sound asleep. Shesta struggled to get Katty off, but he wasn't able to. He climbed out of the car with Katty on him to see Dilandau leaning against the car.  
  
"Dilandau-sama." Shesta picked up Katty off the ground. Dilandau didn't respond. "Lord Dilandau?" Shesta shifted Katty's weight and tapped Dilandau on the shoulder. Dilandau slumped over, and started sliding down towards the ground.  
  
"What the hell!?!!?!" Dilandau jumped up angrily as he awoke on the ground for the second time.  
  
"Do you want me to get Gatti?" Shesta asked. Dilandau stared at Shesta, who was holding Katty.  
  
"What are you doing to her?" Dilandau growled. "No one is allowed to have her besides me."  
  
"You mean you're her boyfriend?" Shesta asked, Dilandau had never confirmed the rumors.  
  
"No. But if I can't have her, none of you can."  
  
"You mean she turned you down?" Shesta asked amazedly. Dilandau blushed.  
  
"No! I haven't asked her. Why would I want her as a girl friend?" Katty groaned slightly, clutching Shesta harder. "Give her to me! Where are the rest of you guys?" Dilandau barked.  
  
"They're undressing Miguel..." Shesta hesitantly looked at the car as he handed Katty over to Dilandau. Katty, who was able to sleep though all of Dilandau's yelling, warped her arms around Dilandau. Dilandau blushed again.  
  
"Stop that now!" Dilandau yelled at the gays and the bi slayers, who hadn't decided how to take off Miguel's plaid boxers. The slayers froze as they heard Dilandau yell at them. "And put his clothes back on now!" Dilandau banged on the window; to make sure they understood him perfectly. Shesta opened the trunk, to see Gatti staring at him.  
  
"Why, hello Gatti..."  
  
"You were talking about me, weren't you?" Gatti snarled at Shesta. Shesta promptly shut the trunk again. "Gatti says that he rather sleep in the car." Shesta reported to Dilandau who was smacking the slayers.  
  
"Go over there and hold up Miguel." Dilandau sneered. He was having trouble hold both Katty and beating up the sleeping slayer who was on the ground at the same time. Shesta held up his friend and winced as Dilandau smacked both of them. "Hehehehee, two birds with one smack!" Dilandau crackled. Katty shifted in her sleep. Dilandau suddenly quieted. Miguel yawned.  
  
"I feel horrid." Miguel rubbed his neck with was covered with...hickys. Miguel stared at the little marks all over his body. He turned to see Shesta, holding him. "Oh my gods! That was disgusting Shesta! You're gross! Don't touch me!" Miguel scrambled away from the confused Shesta.  
  
"What did I do?" Shesta cried. Tears rolled down his cheeks. Puppy dog eyes, and starts to whimper.  
  
"Ahhh! Shesta stop that! It's unmanly!" Dilandau screamed, slapping Shesta. "And Miguel, Shesta didn't do that. That was done by them." Dilandau pointed to the other three slayers who are taking their bags from Folken. Miguel gulped, and nodded.  
  
"That makes more sense." Miguel's voice was dry. He was defiantly scared of what happened.  
  
"Hey! I got the room keys!" Rhee announced. She dangled a handful of key. "I got one for everyone." Rhee started tossing everyone a key.  
  
"Hey, someone get my bags for me." Dilandau ordered as he followed Rhee and Folken towards the rooms.  
  
"I'm a model you know what I mean... I do my little turn on the catwalk." Katty murmured the too sexy song. Dilandau looked down, she was still asleep.  
  
"You should probably wake her now rather than later." Rhee looked down at Katty.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"She tends to get Violent in her sleep." Rhee nodded as she opened the first room.  
  
"This is Folken's." Folken nodded, and went in. Rhee opened the next door.  
  
"Here's one for the slayers." Half the slayers enter, and dump their identical blue bags on the beds. Katty started shuttering and pushing Dilandau's arms way.  
  
"This one's mine, and Katty's" Rhee didn't open the next room, but proceeded to the next room.  
  
"This is the last room for the slayers."  
  
"What about my room?" Dilandau asked as he struggled to keep Katty calm.  
  
"You're going to sleep with your men, aren't you?" Rhee asked confused.  
  
"No way! You guys, get out of there! This is my room! You sleeping in the other room!" Miguel and Shesta trudge out of the room. They didn't want to sleep with the gays. "Argg you bitch!" Dilandau clutched his arm where Katty had bitten him.  
  
"I told you to wake her up." Rhee sighted, and went into her room. "Hey, where's her stuff?" Rhee looked around the empty room. Shesta had brought up Dilandau's bag.  
  
"Miguel!" Dilandau barked. "Get Katty's bag and get Gatti out of the trunk!" Miguel grumbled, but went away.  
  
"Uh?" Katty woke. She stared at Dilandau. "You pervert!" Katty screamed smacking Dilandau.  
  
"Owww!" Dilandau clutched his face, dropping Katty on her butt. "What the hell was that for?" Dilandau yelled at Katty. Katty got up, and brushed herself off.  
  
"Sorry dilly, I thought you were someone else. I couldn't tell, I was still half asleep." Katty yawned. "Well, good night." Katty pushed Dilandau out of the room and slammed the door. Dilandau growled, but receded to his room. A few minutes later Gatti and a torn up Miguel get up to the rooms.  
  
"This is our room... Miguel pushed open the door. Pink and purple lights flash throughout out the rooms. A heavy smoke drifted out.  
  
"Lovely," Gatti coughed. Miguel banged on the door next to theirs. Katty opened it almost immediately.  
  
"Thank you soo much!" she hugs Miguel as she takes her bag. "Hey I've be meaning to ask, but how can you tell your bag from the others?"  
  
"It's got a name tag." Gatti pointed to his bag. A blue bordered tag, like the ones on their uniforms, stated hi! I'm Gatti's bag.  
  
"Oh." Katty stared at it for a while. "So you guys learned how to read?"  
  
"Good night." Miguel and Gatti bowed and left.  
  
Besides the blaring Brittany Spears music coming form the slayer's bedroom, the night was peaceful.  
  
"Yaaaaaaaaa!" Katty screamed happily as she rushed out into the ocean. Folken and Rhee set up a blanket, chairs, and an umbrella.  
  
"Hey smarties, it's not going to rain today." Dilandau sneered, laughed at Folken's 'stupidity'.  
  
"It's not for rain." Folken stated, settling down into his chair to read a book.  
  
"What good is an umbrella if it's not for rain?" Dilandau pestered.  
  
"Dilandau, leave me alone." Dilandau grumbled, but left to see what fun could be found. "Thank god he left!" Rhee nodded; Dilandau was very annoying with his small capacity brain.  
  
"Sometimes Katty's the same." Rhee turned to the cooler full of lunches that Katty had made. "Folken, do you know why Dilandau insisted on having his slayers wear those?" Rhee motions to Shesta, who's building a sand castle with Katty.  
  
"Well, Dilandau likes them to be all the same and in blue..."  
  
"But why a skin suit?"  
  
"Maybe because Dilandau's albino and doesn't like sunscreen."  
  
"Who does?"  
  
"Not me." Folken sipped his ice tea. The two watch as Dilandau stomps on Shesta and Katty's sand castle. He looked like he was laughing and Shesta was crying. Katty grabbed Dilandau and shoved him into the former sand castle. Dilandau jumped out of the sand, and Shesta clapped for Katty. Dilandau slapped Shesta, who was crying again.  
  
"Looks like they're having fun." Folken readjusted his sunglasses.  
  
"Yup." Rhee sipped her coke. "Hey, you want to go swimming?" Rhee gestured toward the sea.  
  
"Umm no." Folken looked at the water.  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"I don't fell like it."  
  
"Oh come on. You're wearing a swimsuit."  
  
"The Speedo wasn't my idea." Folken grumbled.  
  
"Well, come on, just for a little while."  
  
"I can't."  
  
"You can't swim?" Rhee questioned.  
  
"No, my arm..." Folken lifted up his right metal arm, which was covered with a giant sock.  
  
"Why are you wearing a sock?"  
  
"To kept out the sand." Folken answered.  
  
"Oh. So you want to go swimming?" Rhee asked again. Folken shook his head, and went back to his book, how to kill a mocking-dragon. "Grump," Rhee sighted, but looked at the sandwiches. "I think I'll go catch some fish to eat instead. Bye Folken, if you want to come, I'll be in the water." Rhee dashed off. Rhee stopped for a moment as she saw Dallet, Guimel, and Viole sitting in a sand pit.... She trembled, but rushed off to the water. Rhee watched the fish swim across her path like they were being chased.  
  
"Get them Gatti! Go faster!" Dilandau laughed evilly as Gatti huffed. Gatti was pulling Dilandau on a boogie board. "Faster!" Dilandau yelled impatiently. Rhee shrugged and went deeper. Rhee stayed out in the middle of the ocean for a while, and came out only when she began to get pruney.  
  
"Alright men, we need to get Folken's sock by any means." Dilandau rallied his men behind the sand bar that was covered in shells.  
  
"But I want to get more shells for my collection!" Shesta cried as he held up his buckets full of shells.  
  
"And we want to make out some more!" Guimel and Viole protested.  
  
"Just do it!" Dilandau screamed. The slayers scrambled away, Dilandau was angry. Rhee shrugged, it was fine with her.  
  
"Hey Folken, which sandwich is better, the peanut butter or the grilled cheese?" Katty asked as she peered into the cooler.  
  
"I like both...you didn't do anything to them did you?" Katty looked at him.  
  
"That hurt." She sniffled.  
  
"I didn't mean it..." Folken said uncomfortable as Katty brawled. People near by began to whisper about them.  
  
"He just made that girl cry."  
  
"He isn't a good father."  
  
"No, he's her boyfriend."  
  
"Oh, I thought he was her mother..." and other tiny bits were heard from passersby. Folken was trying his best to calm Katty down when Dilandau yelled 'charge!'. The surprised Folken tried to elude the dragon slayers, but failed. The slayers tackled him, and Dilandau didn't help with his malicious laughter.  
  
"Shut up Dilandau!" Folken grabbed a handful of sand and flung it at Dilandau. But Folken's aim was off, and it got Katty.  
  
"Owwwwww! My eyes!" Katty touched her tearing eyes. "That hurt!" A random stranger came up and helped Katty.  
  
"Here, let's rinse out your eyes. You should really call child abuse, miss." The stranger handed Katty a water bottle.  
  
"Thanks," Katty sniffled, and Rhee hugged her. "You." Katty turned to Folken. She was angry, with the added flames behind her, compliments of Dilandau, made her look very scary. "Ahhhh! I'm getting burned!" Katty rushed under the shade of the umbrella. Dilandau shrugged and sat next to her, watching as Folken wrestled the slayers.  
  
"I bet you that Guimel and Viole are enjoying this..." Dilandau whispered to Katty. She giggled.  
  
"Nooo!!!!" Folken roared as Gatti finally got the sock off. Gatti tossed it to Dallet, who rushed towards the gay's pit. Shesta was waiting for Dallet, and when the sock was tossed in to the pit, Shesta released the sand. Within seconds, the sock was gone forever. Actually, not forever, a little boy the next day found it while digging. His mother told him to throw it back, and the boy tossed it on the sand. Unfortunately a runner was running in that direction and slipped on it and died from tripedous. But that's another story that we don't even have a name for. We were talking about Folken losing his sock and now he's very prone to the sand in his arm.  
  
"Get it out of there!" Folken growled as the slayers released him. They shrugged; they had done their jobs and were getting hungry.  
  
"Here, I made everyone sandwiches!" Katty handed the slayers sandwiches, and Dilandau tossed them sodas. He tossed them because he liked to see their reaction as the soda fizzed out. Shesta dropped his.  
  
"Ahhh! The soda's attacking!!" Shesta yelped. Dilandau laughed. Katty handed him a sandwich.  
  
"What is this? I not eating what you made! I don't trust you!" Dilandau flung his sandwich on to the sand.  
  
"But I didn't do anything wrong with these!" Katty protested, picking up Dilandau's sandwich. "You can't tell me that you're not hungry." Dilandau opened his mouth to protest, but his tummy rumbled.  
  
"Gatti, are these okay?" Dilandau snarled, holding up the sandwich. Gatti looked at Dilandau for a second.  
  
"Yeah," Gatti replied, with his mouth half full.  
  
"See!" Katty sneered, watching Dilandau eat his sandwich.  
  
"Ewww, you guys lied. She put sand in these!" Dilandau roared as he spit out the bite of sandwich.  
  
"You put your sandwich in the sand, dummy!" Katty yelled. She grabbed his sandwich. Dilandau looked at her for a second. She stuffed the rest of the sandwich down his mouth. The dragon slayers crowded around them, and clapped for Katty. Katty bowed and got off Dilandau.  
  
"Thank you all so much for supporting me when I really needed it!" Katty acted like she had just received the miss America award.  
  
"Hey, all of you! Time to go back to the motel!" Rhee yelled. The boys grumbled, but packed up the car. "We need to get up early for the snorkeling we're doing tomorrow. So we need to get breakfast at the supermarket. Katty you're in charge of making a list and getting everything." Rhee tossed back a pad of paper and a pencil.  
  
"Alright!" Katty smiled. "Okay, what do you guy want to eat tomorrow?"  
  
"Toast"  
  
"Pancakes"  
  
"Fruitcakes"  
  
"Whip cream"  
  
"Wine"  
  
"Dilly, you can't eat wine for breakfast." Katty said, writing it down on the pad.  
  
"So, you can't eat whip cream either!"  
  
"Hey, I happen to like whip cream a lot!" Katty glared at Dilandau.  
  
"Well, let's have doughnuts and toast and fruit, okay?" Shesta asked, he didn't what to fight.  
  
"That sounds good." Miguel said, playing on his game boy.  
  
"Okay, anyone object?" Katty looked at the car, nobody said anything. Katty shrugged and changed the list. The slayers entered the supermarket. They huddled around Katty, waiting for what they needed.  
  
"Shesta, you get the fruit with Miguel. We need passion fruit, strawberries and raspberries." Shesta nodded and Miguel took off. "Dallet, you get the milk. Guimel I need you to get the whip cream. We need chocolate dipping sauce, Viole. Folken and Rhee get the doughnuts." They rushed off to different directions to get the various items.  
  
"What about me?" Dilandau grumbled.  
  
"Oh," Katty looked at her list. "You go get the toast." Katty pushed the chart; Viole had already gotten the chocolate. Dilandau rushed off towards the bakery. He looked at the assorted breads, but didn't see any toast.  
  
"Miss?" Dilandau looked up. A fat bakery lady had called to him.  
  
"What do you want?" Dilandau growled. The fat lady didn't hear him.  
  
"What are you looking for? Do you want a free cookie?" the fat lady handed a sugar cookie to Dilandau, and stuffed four in her mouth.  
  
"Do you guys sell toast?" Dilandau inquired, looking at the breads.  
  
"What was that?" the fat lady leaned on the counter, which creaked ominously.  
  
"Do you guys sell toast?"  
  
"Huh? Speak up." The fat lady demanded.  
  
"Do you guys sell toast?!?!" Dilandau screamed, he huffed after he had finished. Everyone in the bakery had turned to look at him.  
  
"Sorry, we don't sell toast. But we do sell bread." The lady stared at him, but went to another customer. Dilandau trudged back, chewing on his free cookie.  
  
"Dilly, where's your item?" Katty looked at him.  
  
"They don't sell toast here." Dilandau retorted. The slayers chuckled.  
  
"Of course they don't. Toast is just slightly burnt bread. So where's the bread?" Katty asked again. Dilandau blushed in embarrassment. He rushed off to the bakery. The fat lady was still there.  
  
"Miss, do you want a free cookie?" the fat lady asked Dilandau again.  
  
"Unmm, which bread is the bread for making toast?" Dilandau looked at the different types of bread.  
  
"Any kind." The fat lady looked at the free cookie jar. "Sorry miss, but there's no more free cookies." Dilandau grabbed a package of bread and went to look for the group.  
  
"Finally, you got it!" Rhee said, sliding her credit card in the little slot. They had just finished checking out.  
  
They all pilled into the car. Gatti had gone rabid again, I mean, you wouldn't want to be left in a very humid trunk, would you? And then when you think they're going to let you out, they just shove groceries in you cramp space. Needless to say he had screamed a few cursed, but nobody could hear him over the music.  
  
"Dilandau, get off my side!" Katty whined, as Dilandau reached for Miguel's game boy.  
  
"Hey that's mine!" Miguel protested, but Dilandau stuck his tongue out.  
  
"Die van die!!!" Dilandau battled his rival in Pokemon. Unfortunately for him, van's team had a few water Pokemon, and since Dilandau's team was all fire, Dilandau got angry quickly.  
  
"He's cheating! The stupid bastard!!!" Dilandau chucked the game boy at the windshield. Folken, was taking a nap didn't notice the game boy land on his lap. Katty reached over Folken's shoulder to get the thrown game boy. Folken turned towards her.  
  
"You are the wing goddess."  
  
"Why thank you!" Katty blushed; she didn't realize that Folken was still asleep.  
  
"Here Miguel. I think it's okay." Miguel looked at the blinking screen. The words 'Miguel has died' flashed.  
  
"Ahhh!! Miguel died!!" Shesta sobbed.  
  
K- I can't tell, but which is the correct way to spell Gatti? Or is it Gatty? R- shrugs, does it really matter? K- I guess not.... 


	4. Shesta & Roadkill

K-hey looks my friends actually reviewed!! Hey, wait, my evil friends?! Well I'll say. R-do you even really care? K-no not really. But at least they're reading it and liking it. R-yeah, after you insisted that they spent the whole night watching Escaflowne. It's the least they could do. K- yes! I agree! R- I was being sarcastic K-oh...  
  
Disclam-er- I don't eat clams they are nasty. It's like eating old bubble gum. Declaimer- we don't own Escaflowne, nor do we own the ocean that we are going scuba diving in. And we don't personalize each other because we are all numbers to the government. It's a conspiracy! K-Rhee, did you take your medicine? I think you should back way from my labby... R- walks away; fine you can type the whole story by yourself! K-don't I always? (Kat is hugging her laptop and whispering reassuring words to it.)  
  
"Lalalalalaaaaa." Katty hummed happily in the kitchen. Shesta and Katty had gotten up extra early to make the breakfast.  
  
"So, what do we do when we are scuba diving?" Shesta asked as Katty washed the strawberries.  
  
"We look at cute little fishes and everything." Katty happily placed the fruit in to the bowl.  
  
"Yaa!" Shesta squealed, he liked cute fishes. Dilandau in his red flannel pjs enters the kitchen.  
  
"Hello dilly! What do you want to eat?" Katty asked, beating up the chocolate.  
  
"I want fire." Dilandau slumped into a chair. Shesta shrugged. Katty put a bowl of milk and pineapples in front of Dilandau.  
  
"Here you go!" Katty smiled evilly, but the half asleep Dilandau didn't react.  
  
"Whatever." Dilandau slumped over, landed square in the bowl.  
  
"Won't he drown?" Shesta asked as he looked at the unmoving Dilandau.  
  
"Umm I don't think so." Katty placed the fruit on the giant table. Folken emerges in his cloaks, and is followed by the dragon slayers, who are in their pjs.  
  
"Hello! We got everything ready!" Katty smiled happily. Folken patted Katty on the head. "Ummm, folkie, you know that most cats don't like being patted on the head?" Folken stared at Katty, who was still smiling.  
  
"Ewww! God what is that taste?" Dilandau wakes to the nasty concoction of milk and pineapple.  
  
"See, I told ya he wouldn't drown." Katty told Shesta, who was watching as Dilandau hit the slayers as they sat down.  
  
"Where's Rhee?" Folken asked, stuffing a doughnut in his mouth.  
  
"She's getting ready."  
  
"Since when was she a she?" Dallet said his mouth half full.  
  
"Since we found gays here." Katty swirled the whip cream onto her hand.  
  
"Is that all you're going to eat?" Viole asked, amazed that anyone would just eat it plain.  
  
"Umhuh!" Katty reply was muffled because of the whip cream.  
  
"I want some!" Dilandau grabbed the can.  
  
"I'll give you some!" Katty grabbed it back and grabbed Dilandau's hand. She made a nice little swirl. Dilandau went to lick it off his hand. Katty hit the back of his hand.  
  
"What was that for?" Dilandau yelled, whip cream all over this face.  
  
"Hahaha it was just to tempting." Katty giggled. Dilandau pouted, but whipped off his face. The breakfast was quite a success except for the part that Dilandau kept stealing everyone's strawberry covered toast. 'It's all mine! Bwwhhahaahahaha'  
  
Then Shesta dropped a glass bowl.  
  
"I didn't mean to!" Shesta sniffled, looking at the used to be bowl.  
  
"It's okay! We just gotta clean it up." Katty comforted the crying Shesta.  
  
"No it isn't! Look what you did Shesta!" Dilandau roared, obviously trying to make Shesta feel bad.  
  
"He's right! It's all my fault!" Shesta cried, running out of the kitchen. Rhee just happened to be walking into the kitchen.  
  
"What's wrong with him?" Rhee asked.  
  
"Oh, Dilandau was being mean again." Katty huffed, and kicked Dilandau in the shin.  
  
"Does everyone have to be so violent?" Dilandau screamed, grabbing his leg.  
  
"Do you have to be so violent?" Folken asked, he was washing the dishes. Dilandau glared at Folken. Voile bends over to help Katty pick up the shards.  
  
"Arrg! I can't see!" Viole muttered, picking up the sharpest shard.  
  
"Thanks for helping me, ouch!" Katty sucked her finger, which had been cut. Viole, blinded by his un-brushed hair, swings the shard randomly. He ends up spearing Rhee. He brushed his hair way, only to see blood drip down Rhee's trench cloak. Rhee didn't seem to notice this new attachment.  
  
"Oh my! Viole you're such a back stabber!" Katty whined, tears coming to her eyes.  
  
"What? He didn't!" Dilandau looked at Rhee, and Viole, who was as bright as the strawberries.  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
"You better be! You didn't even kill her! I mean I train a bunch of guy to kill, and they can't even do that!" Dilandau threw up his hands in disgust. "This means punishments for everyone!" he roared as Katty threw the shard at his head.  
  
"How dare you!" Katty grabbed another shard, and tried to attack Dilandau.  
  
"Whoa! Think Katty!" Folken arm locked the rabid Katty, who was lunging at Dilandau.  
  
"Since when does Katty think?" Dilandau jeered.  
  
"Hey!" Dilandau watched in shock as the slayers tackled him. "She's nice!" the dragon slayers crushed Dilandau under their weight.  
  
"Get off!" Dilandau heaved. Viole, who was the closest, giggled. Dilandau stared at him, Viole was gay.... and Dilandau and Viole were quite close. Viole probably could smell the whip cream. "Off! Off now!!!!" Dilandau struggled franticly.  
  
"Not until you apologies to Katty." Gatti's voice was barely recognizable. Dilandau craned his head to look at Katty. But Katty and Folken had left some time ago.  
  
"What are you guys doing? Get ready for the dive!" Rhee growled, shoving the slayers off Dilandau.  
  
"Thanks," Dilandau mumbled, brushing himself off. Rhee kicked him. Dilandau opened his mouth to protest, but the glares of all the slayers made him shut it. They all went off to their rooms to change.  
  
"Hey! Look at these!" Katty held up the air tanks. She went around the boat telling everyone to look at everything. Shesta followed her happily, ooh-ing and aw-ing.  
  
"I'm being the life guard." Folken stated as the crew looked at the necessary equipment.  
  
"What makes you a good life guard?" Rhee asked. "I mean you can't even swim."  
  
"Folken can't swim?" Dilandau jeered. "Even Viole can swim!"  
  
"And pick his nose!" Guimel happily added.  
  
"No I don't!" Viole said quickly pulling his finger out of his nose.  
  
"Right...."  
  
"I can swim, I just don't like too. And I'll the only one with a cell phone." Folken held up his phone.  
  
"Let's see you use it." Rhee challenged.  
  
"Alright...hello, hello?" Folken spoke into the backwards and upside down phone.  
  
"Let me see that!" Katty snatched the phone. She tapped the screen and press a few buttons. "Well, the batteries are dead, and this was a flip phone. But someone stole half the top part." Katty held up the phone. Half of the screen was missing. Dilandau chuckled. Folken glared at Dilandau, who looked away.  
  
"I wonder who would do that?" Folken gritted his teeth. Dilandau pointed to himself.  
  
"Who, you can't possibly think that I did it! Can you folken?" Dilandau said innocently.  
  
"No! How could anyone think it was you dilly?" Katty hugged Dilandau. Dilandau grinned and stuck his tongue out at Folken. Folken glared, he would get Dilandau some how...  
  
"Everyone get an air tank!" Rhee handed out the tanks. The slayers helped each other with the tanks. Dilandau smiled mischievously.  
  
"What's so funny, Dilandau-sama?" Gatti asked, readjusting his goggles.  
  
"I filled one of the tanks with wine." Dilandau smiled. "I marked it with a red D."  
  
"Oh," Gatti looked at the others tanks. None of them had a red D on theirs.  
  
"Let's go!" Katty jumped into the water. She didn't resurface for a while. Shesta held his breath. "What are you waiting for?" Katty's head reappeared. Dilandau pushed all the slayers in.  
  
"Hahaahah! That was just too gooo—od." Dilandau yelled as he flew over the boat's edge. Rhee chuckled and saluted Folken before disappearing.  
  
"I want to see sharks!" Dilandau yelled.  
  
"Oh, I've got a dead bunny..." Rhee reached into her suit, which looked like a cloak... she pulled out a dead rabbit.  
  
"Nooo!" Shesta cried. "You didn't kill the bunny!" Rhee flung the bleeding rabbit a few feet away from the group. Soon the group could see sharks. "Noo! I'll save you Mr. Bunny!" Shesta rushed over to the dead rabbit. He clutched it protectively, but the sharks had already started to circle. "Help!" Shesta cried. Dilandau was amazed at all the sharks that had come in such short time. But Katty, looking flushed, was circling with the sharks. She was also humming the jaws song.  
  
"Katty! What are you doing!!" Dilandau cried, he didn't want her to get eaten too. Not that he wanted Shesta to be eaten; Dilandau would save Shesta after Shesta was bit once or twice. Just to toughen Shesta up, that's why Dilandau wasn't doing too much.  
  
Voile and Guimel had already dived under, looking at the sea's bottom. Gatti was watching Dallet swim in circles, and Rhee was trying to separate Shesta from the road kill. So far everyone was having a great time. Dilandau watched as Katty circled Shesta, wondering how Katty would bite Shesta with the mouthpiece in...  
  
"Huuh!" Dilandau stared at Katty's back. There, unmistakably, was a red D. "Katty!" Dilandau rushed after Katty. Katty, who thought she was a shark, just continued to circle around the terrified Shesta. Dilandau swam after Katty, who stopped.  
  
"Starfish!" Katty's gleeful cry came. She rushed down towards the bottom of the sea. Dilandau had to chase her, leaving Shesta alone.  
  
"So this is the end, Mr. Bunny." Shesta sobbed.  
  
"Let go of the bunny, Shesta!" Rhee yelled Insert- yes, we know that it is almost impossible to talk under water. But deal with it. "Never! I am going to save Mr. Bunny!" Shesta wailed as he dodged a shark.  
  
"Katty!" Katty had just grabbed the starfish before going unconscious because of lack of air. Dilandau rushed after the limp Katty, but Rhee gets to her first. Then Dilandau hit his head Katty's air tank, knocking him unconscious.  
  
"Ummm." Katty grabbed Dilandau, like she when she was asleep. Rhee shrugged, but swiftly swam to the boat.  
  
"Folken! Help them up!" Rhee yelled at the reading Folken. Folken looked at the two, they didn't look too good. Too bad they didn't have a working phone. Dallet and Guimel had already gotten out of the boat, and were playing cards.  
  
"Help me get this stuff off them." Folken detached the air tanks. Guimel went straight for Dilandau's suit, but Folken stopped him. "No I was talking about the gear, not the suit." Guimel frowned, but helped Folken with Katty's equipment. Which was quite hard, for she liked to thrash around, still clutching Dilandau.  
  
"Hey, look. Katty's air tank was filled with alcohol!" Dallet licked his fingers. He had taken Katty's mouthpiece out, with leaked the wine.  
  
"Gimme some!" Gatti growled, trying to get on the boat. Folken yanked Gatti in. "that's lord Dilandau's wine." Gatti grabbed a key off Dilandau. "He even got glasses." Gatti unlocked a cooler, and handed everyone conscience a frosty glass.  
  
"Hey, does anyone know were Miguel went off to?" Dallet looked at the ocean, he could see Shesta, fighting off the sharks for a dead bunny, and Rhee trying to get Shesta. Voile was trying to get on the boat, and Guimel was helping him...Folken shrugged, going back to his book, kill a dragon in 80 days.  
  
"Shesta!!" Rhee growled, she did too much for Katty's friends. Rhee took out a machete form her cloak bathing suit, and cut her arm. The sharks sniffed like dogs, and got into a huddled. They all nodded, and went to circle around the fresh blood, Rhee.  
  
"Swim to the boat! The boat! The other way, Shesta!" Rhee yelled as she hit the sharks. Shesta, hanging on to the bunny, swam towards a boat on the horizon.  
  
"The other way!! That is an oil tanker, and they eat bunnies!" Shesta shrieked, turned towards the right boat, and splashed franticly. He tried getting up, but he needed two hands for that. So he placed Mr. bunny on the deck. Shesta struggled to lift himself out of the water, and Dallet looked at 'Mr. Bunny'.  
  
"Eww, that's disgusting. What is it?"  
  
"A bunny." Shesta gasped, as he flopped down.  
  
"It was a bunny, but it's not that now!" Dallet picked up the revolting carcass, and flung it back into the sea.  
  
"Noo!" Shesta cried, watching a shark approach the 'bunny'. "Dallet! You better go get Mr. Bunny." Shesta was mad.  
  
"No way!" Dallet sniffed, turning to talk to Guimel. Shesta snatched Dallet's suit and flung him over board.  
  
"Get my bunny!" Shesta roared. Dallet didn't move. Shesta peered over the edge, when he had flung Dallet over board; Dallet had hit his head on the side of the boat. "Ops." Shesta said quietly. Katty had regain consciousness, but was quite drunk.  
  
"Dilly, dilly my silly dilly..." she sang, swaying Dilandau back and forth. It was an interesting sight, considering that Dilandau had starfish, seaweed and other sea cramp in his hair.  
  
"To bad nobody brought a camera." Gatti said, sipping his wine.  
  
"Hey, my phone's a picture phone!" Folken held up his ¾ of a phone.  
  
"Yeah!" Viole graded the phone, and tried to get the picture mode up. "Oh, the camera was cut off." Voile said, inspecting the phone.  
  
"Darn."  
  
"Hey, is everyone on the boat?" Rhee asked, still in the water, dragging six dead sharks behind her.  
  
"No, we're missing Miguel." Shesta squealed. "You don't think he died?"  
  
"No, he was playing in the propeller last I saw." Rhee swam to the back of the boat. Shesta shivered.  
  
"He's okay!" Rhee's voice was heard. Dilandau stirred slightly.  
  
"Wakey wakey!" Katty yelled into his ear, shaking him violently.  
  
"Ahhh! What the hell is going on?!" Dilandau roared, struggling to get out of Katty's grasp.  
  
"Silly dilly, you'll never escape me!" Katty purred into his ear. Dilandau turned, as best he could being held down, to look at Katty.  
  
"What?" Miguel was flopped onto the deck. Rhee then threw up the six sharks on the boat. Shesta squealed, and rushed away from the sharks. Rhee appeared behind them.  
  
"So, is everyone on board now?"  
  
"Nah, Shesta pushed Dallet over the edge."  
  
Who's going to get him?"  
  
"Not me."  
  
"I'm not.  
  
"I sink like a rock." Folken stated.  
  
"Well, if we need an anchor, you'll do. Since Gatti put our anchor out with no attachment, and now we are anchorless. But all we have to do is tie you to a rope and drop you in the ocean, Mr. Rock." Rhee patted Folken on the shoulder. Miguel leaked out water.  
  
"Ekkk! His vital organs!" Shesta yelped.  
  
"So, who's going to get him and when?" Rhee asked.  
  
"No, not me."  
  
"Nah I don't wanna right now."  
  
"How about never? Is never good for you?"  
  
"I don't like him, he stuck Mr. Bunny back into the ocean." The slayers fought about which one was going back to save the drifting Dallet. Just then a crew boat comes by.  
  
"Stroke, stroke..." was the cry of the cocks man. The teenaged boys were in perfect timing. One of the boys, a blond, turns to the boat and waves.  
  
"Hey Chris!" Rhee called out, waving back.  
  
"Huh? Chris!" Katty rushed to the side of the boat, towing Dilandau with her. "Hey Chris! You got to come over and watch Escaflowne with me again!" Katty smiled, waving happily to her cousin.  
  
"Alright Katty, I promise!" Chris called out. He noticed Dilandau. "Don't kill the unlucky bastard!" Chris called out as he and his crew buddies rowed in to the horizon.  
  
Row row row your boat gently down the stream...  
  
The song drifted over the boat as the singing crew boys rowed in the opposite direction of the drifting Dallet. Miguel coughed up some more water.  
  
"Maybe we should help Miguel first..." Folken looked at the half alive Miguel. Katty, who had sorta sobered up, nodded.  
  
"I'll do it." She stepped on Miguel's chest. Miguel hacked up some more water. Miguel opened his eyes to see Katty, sitting him. Dilandau watched as Katty sat on Miguel, it was a very suggestive pose.  
  
"Off him!" Dilandau, who had been released by Katty, knocked Katty off Miguel.  
  
"Ouuwww," Katty complained, pushing Dilandau off her. "Miguel, will you get Dallet?" Miguel nodded.  
  
"Where is he?" Katty looked at the direction Dallet was floating towards.  
  
"He was over there..." she points towards the sun; Dallet no longer was visible on the horizon.  
  
"We'll start the boat up, to get you closer." Rhee steered the boat towards the sun. Everyone shades their eyes from the sun except Viole.  
  
"Yup, having long hair is sometimes an advantage." Viole smiled, looking at his unlucky comrades.  
  
"Hey I have long hair too!" Katty wailed, shielding her eyes away from the glare.  
  
"Yes, but you have no bangs!" Viole chuckled. Katty pouted.  
  
"I have long bangs too!" Shesta cried.  
  
"Well, Shesta, you're just weird." Viole shrugged. Shesta flung his goggles at Viole. Shesta hit Dilandau.  
  
"Shesta, remind me when I get back to Vione that you need to practice your aim." Dilandau growled.  
  
"So, you're not mad?" Shesta asked hesitantly. Dilandau slapped him.  
  
"Of course I'm mad! I am getting sun burned, I have crap in my hair, my slayers are relaxing, van's still alive, and you guys drank all my wine, so I can't even get drunk!" Dilandau screamed. "The world is against me!" he yelled at the sky. Everyone stared at him.  
  
"Just calm down." Katty, who was scared, patted his shoulder. He looked at her, and he wasn't anger, or mad, or confused or any other face of Dilandau that we usually see. That was because his face had fallen off. Wait, no I mean his face was different because he wasn't with it. He had been staring and now was sort of in dreamland. His face hadn't fallen off, but his mind might have just sloshed out of his ear and jumped over board, but then we would have Shesta screaming again. And I think his voice is getting a little horse. No, Shesta's voice wasn't buying a horse, his voice was cracking. Not like when they voice changes, but more like when you're thirsty. My little sister insisted that I clear this up, she got confused. And she thinks that there might be more idiots reading my story, but I know that she's the only idiot in the world. Okayyy..... on with the story....  
  
"Well, here he is..." Dallet's limp body hit the side of the boat. Miguel shuttered, and scooped Dallet up with the net that you use to clean the pool with. You know the one on the long pole thingy? Yeah, that the thing, but don't ask me what it was doing on the boat.... Dallet's body hung lifelessly on the chair that Gatti had propped him up on.  
  
"Is he dead?" Guimel ask, poking Dallet with a stick.  
  
"No." Katty didn't even look at Dallet.  
  
"How do you know?" Dilandau asked.  
  
"Well, Miguel is the first one to die, no matter what. And Miguel is still alive." Katty smiled, and Dallet, as if to confirm he was still alive, choked on something.  
  
"The hectic remover!" voile called as he grabbed Dallet and thrust his hands into Dallet's stomach.  
  
"That looks like fun!" Dilandau pushed voile away and starts punching Dallet in the stomach.  
  
"That's not what you're supposed to do!" Katty wailed, but just then Dallet spit out a cork.  
  
"What is that doing in the ocean?" Guimel looked at the brand. "Hey, this is your wine, Dilandau-sama." Dilandau smiled sheepishly, wait that's what Guimel does...um Dilandau smiled embarrassedly.  
  
"Did you throw the cork into the ocean?" Gatti asked, amazed that someone would do such a thing.  
  
"I threw a few...." Dilandau said, looking at the water. Dozens of dolphins floated dead around the boat.  
  
"The poor dolphins." Shesta sobbed.  
  
"We shall pray for the souls of the dead dolphins." Folken, Katty, and the slayers huddled in a circle and started chanting.  
  
"Esca-flowne. Esca- flowne." They chanted. Dilandau clutched his head.  
  
"Stop saying that!" he screamed. "I hate van!"  
  
"We all know." Rhee said, grumpy that she couldn't chant with the rest, she still had to direct the boat. Dallet was alive, but he didn't move or do anything else. He wasn't even awake. And he stayed like that. For a long time. Because we didn't want to bother with him.  
  
Folken, and Rhee were cleaning up after the groups take out Chinese dinner. Katty hadn't felt like making anything, after all the long day. Plus she was having a serious hang over. And the slayers weren't helping by bugging her.  
  
"So, did you enjoy the day?" Rhee asked, drying off a dish.  
  
"Yes, I did." Folken answered.  
  
"Weeeee!" Katty burst into the kitchen, wearing sponges on her feet, holding a towel scrubber, bucket on her head, and a trash bag as a cape.  
  
"So, the medicine finally kicked in?" Folken asked, he had injected her with some medicine, but nothing had happened immediately.  
  
"Yupp!" Katty sang loudly, as she crashed into the chairs. "Ops!" one of the chairs broke.  
  
"Well, it looks like the screwed up fairy has visited us again..." Rhee said looking at the mess Katty had made trying to clean up a mess.  
  
"What's all that racket?" a granny entered the motel's kitchen. She had 'born to raise hell' tattooed on her arm. She was also wearing a leather jacket that had 'hell's grannies' written on the back. Katty dropped her towel scrubber.  
  
"Nothing?" Katty answered. The granny glared at her.  
  
"Where the hell is Katty? I can never find her when I need her!" Dilandau's screams were heard. Dilandau entered to see the evil granny. "Who are you, old hag?" Dilandau sneered. The granny glared at Dilandau. She got a walkie-talkie out of no were.  
  
"This is grim, I need back up. It is a code 1, and I am in the woman's room, this is grim." The granny crackled in to the walkie-talkie. In a few seconds a bunch of biker like grannies burst into the kitchen. They were all looking a Dilandau. Tumbleweed brushed by.  
  
"Sorry, I couldn't help my self!" Katty giggled. Dilandau glared at her. The grannies surrounded her.  
  
"Don't worry miss, we'll protect you from that." A granny holding a pillowcase said, pointing to Dilandau.  
  
"I don't need to be protected from him! He needs to be protected form me!" Katty joked, walking towards Dilandau. The grannies gasped. Dilandau stared at the grannies, the grannies stared at Dilandau. Katty stared at her fingernails.  
  
"Awww, my nail is cracked!" Katty whined.  
  
Yeah, it's the grannies vs. Dilandau. My little sister edited this chapter, so it wasn't too outrageous. She didn't understand most of it, so she insisted that I edit it. And she finally learned to read, so I couldn't lie about that I changed.... darn. Oh well. My next chapter is going to be called Dilandau is out smarted by chipmunks that live in a laundry chute. And these chipmunks are very unique!  
  
Love ya! Kat  
  
R-Why don't you just tell them the whole story, Kat? K-I didn't! R- yea...you didn't...right...(rolls her eyes) 


	5. Grannies & Chipmunks

K- hell-o!!! I am not going to be home for a week, and since Rhee doesn't know how to update it, or type very well, it wouldn't be touched till we get back into school...phooey

R- I sort of know how to type....

K- yea, yelling at the computer doesn't really count.

R- I do not!!

K- don't yell at me! Sniff

Disclaimer- the company that owns Escaflowne doesn't even know that we live. And we hope that they really never will. Cause we need to save up for college, and for a home and a car and for candy and those jeans and that whatcha ma call it thingy that's so cute... and... and, ...

The stage is set in a kitchen/dining hall. We have the evil grannies facing Dilandau and Katty, and then we have Folken and Rhee in the back round cleaning up dishes.

"Oh, do you guys need the kitchen?" Folken asked the grannies, who were snarling like rabid llamas.

"No, sonny. We're here to teach this one a lesson." The granny with road kill for hair grunted, pointing to Dilandau.

"Oh, good luck. I've been trying to do that for a long time...." Folken stared at Dilandau, who was sweating. Dilandau didn't like having the odds against him.

"Fo-fol-folkenn-nn, get the slayers..." Dilandau stuttered, as Katty was yanked away from him.

"Hey!" Katty protested, squirming under the fat granny's grasp. "Help me Dilandau!! I'm sinking!" Katty squealed. And indeed she was. You could barely see her arms under the lard. "It's taking me hostage!"

"Wait a moment!" Dilandau growled. He whipped out his flamethrower. The grannies countered with lassoing it away with hairpins and hairnets. Folken chuckled.

"Folken! Get the slayers!" Dilandau shrieked, the grannies blocking the door.

"Naahhh, I think I'll do it later..." Folken smiled. Making Dilandau nervous was fun.

"This is disgusting! She's all sweaty!" Katty retched as she tried to free her hands from the lard. "I'm not going to last!" Katty sobbed.

"Charge!" one of the grannies yelled. The grannies charged at Dilandau. Dilandau tried to get away, but two grannies already had him pinned down.

"Help! Get away!" Dilandau kicked the nearest granny. Two more took her place.

"Heheheheheheh" the grannies chorused, pulling out various forms of male torture.

"This is his color." The saggy granny pulled out a bright red lipstick. Dilandau squirmed more, and Folken watched. Folken chuckled, which made Katty gasp. Well, what was still left of Katty...

"Sonny, I have to say I like your mullet. If it wasn't for that, you probably would be down on the floor too." The granny chuckled at Folken. Folken looked at her, edged away a little, and shuttered.

"Why thanks, I guess..." Folken didn't know what a mullet was, but glad that he had one. Maybe it meant a buff body. Or something else. He would have to ask Katty later, Rhee had already disappeared somewhere.

"Get off!" Dilandau franticly called, as the grannies approached him with the make up. The grannies held him harder. He could barely move. This was it, this was the end. Dilandau squeezed his eyes shut. Cold, that's how it felt. Extremely disgusting, and slimy.

He opened his eyes, the grannies weren't just putting make up on him. They were putting it on themselves and kissing him. Dilandau clamped his mouth shut; they would only take the opportunity of him opening up his mouth willingly. They also had a bright frilly dresses and other girl clothes.

"Make him wear those!" the grannies pulled out the tight lower risers.

"And one of these!" they pulled out a corset.

"Get off him! He's mine!" Katty wailed. "I abducted him and everything! I did everything, and here you guys just come in and steal him!" Katty screamed, dislodging herself from the blubber. Katty's eyes glinted red. "Get off!" she charged at the grannies, only to have them step out of the way.

"Woa, a fire brand." The grannies mumbled between themselves. Katty inspected Dilandau. She frowned, fixed the lipstick and nodded.

"I think that you got a little too red on the eye shadow." Katty filtered through the bag, and pulled out the eye make up remover. "I'll fix that."

"What?!" Dilandau roared, he thought she was going to free him. But nooooooo, she was going to help the grannies.

"What what?" Katty asked, tilting her head. "close your eyes." Dilandau opened them up wider. Katty grabbed his lashes and wiped the wet cotton ball on his lids. He flinched. "sorry, was that cold?" she wiped the mascara on his frilly pink shirt.

"Can you at least get them off me? I feel like they are killing my arms!" Dilandau gasped, he would have bruises at least.

"You heard him ladies." Folken inserted, he couldn't have the captain in the hospital. It wouldn't fit.

"Awwww, darn..." the ladies eased off Dilandau, but still held him firmly.

"Umm, Katty?" Shesta peered in the hall. The grannies gasped. He was just too adorable, in his bunny pajamas.

"Awww!" the grannies rushed over to Shesta, hugging him, and pinching his cheek. Shesta kind of stood there dazed as the grannies smothered him in love. Katty continued to remover the make up off Dilandau, who was still on his back.

"Stop it! I can't get it off if you keep hiding your face!" Katty angrily whispered as Dilandau pushed her hands away. "you have got nothing to be embarrassed about, except that they did your eyebrows unevenly." Katty protested. Dilandau groaned. "come on, you don't want Shesta to see, do you?" Dilandau pouted, but let Katty take the rest off.

"there, so know I know what your colors are if Celena ever asks!" Katty gleefully smiled. Dilandau stared at her for a moment.

"She'll never ask, why would a Shezhar ask about me?" Dilandau sneered. Katty rolled her eyes. Dilandau stood up.

"God! These are torture!" Dilandau yelled as he pulled up the jeans, which showed his red boxers. The grannies did give him some privacy, one wanted him to wear a tong.

"Yah, you got to get use to those type." Katty said, smacking her ass. She was wearing about the same type of jeans. "see, you have to pull them up when you sit and things." Dilandau and Folken stared, women's clothing was a mystery. Why did they wear such uncomfortable things?

"Well, it's getting late. We should go to bed." Folken looked at the clock that hung on the wall. Zaibach clocks were different, but it seemed to emphasize the point.

"Yeah." Dilandau yawned. The three started out of the room.

"What about Shesta?" Katty asked, looking for anything that might be Shesta in the huddle of old bags.

"He came for you, so you get him." Dilandau said, walking away. Folken bowed and went off to his room. Katty shrugged, reached in the pill and pulled out the only person with colored hair, besides gray. Or road kill, but I am not sure what color that is...maybe black?

"Are you okay Shesta?" Katty asked later, when she had finally pulled Shesta into her room.

"Yea, I think so." Shesta whimpered.

"Oh! Poor Shesta baby!" Katty cradled his head in a hug. "I'll make sure the evil grannies never touch you again!"

"Thanks." Shesta sniffed.

"So, what did you come for?" Katty hopped on her bed, Rhee wasn't in the room to tell Katty to stop.

"Well, I didn't want to sleep with Viole again..."

"What? You slept with Viole in that room?" Katty gasped, grabbing her pillow.

"Yeah, all the slayers are in one room..." Shesta told the ignorant Katty.

"Really? Wow. I have got to fix that." Katty stormed out, Shesta followed.

"No, master Dilandau will have my head!" Shesta whimpered. Katty ignored him and banged on Dilandau's hotel room door.

"What is it?" Dilandau yanked open the door to see Katty and Shesta in their pajamas.

"We need this room." Katty said, smiling. She was holding Shesta's hand. Dilandau's eyes widen.

"No! you're not making out with Shesta in my room! And your not making out with Shesta period!" Dilandau roared.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Katty asked, getting quite mad. "I need you to sleep else where so that the slayers can sleep in this room!" Katty yanked Dilandau out, and invited Shesta in.

"Where am I going to sleep?" Dilandau growled. Katty shrugged.

"I haven't figure that out yet. I'll think about it some more in the morning." Katty turned to go in her room. Gatti and Miguel watched as they changed rooms.

"No!" Dilandau shut Katty's door and pinned her against it.

"Let go!" Katty squirmed, not looking at Dilandau.

"You are going to get me a place to sleep now." Dilandau hissed.

"Fine." Katty pouted, and went to the gay slayers room.

"Not that place." Katty frowned and knocked on Folken's door.

"What is it?" Folken blinked sleepily.

"Dilandau needs a place to sleep, folkie. And I was wondering..." Folken stared at Katty.

"It's okay, but I get the bed." Dilandau gasped, he didn't think Folken would let him. After all, Dilandau still had Folken's teddy bear that he had stolen.

"There. I got you a room. Just yell if you need anything else." Katty huffed, she was tired, and all that granny fighting really wears you down.

Rhee appeared.

"Where have you been?" Katty sleepily accused.

"I was umm doing something"

"Makes sense..." the half asleep Katty yawned. Because of course everything makes sense when you're half asleep. "night." Katty flopped onto her bed and promptly fell asleep.

"And we have to take them back..." Rhee sighed she was enjoying the visitors as much as Katty.

Rhee fell into a coma like sleep standing up.

Then Dilandau's shrieks were heard.

Katty bolt right up. She hadn't expected Dilandau to really scream. But she had said she would, so she got up to fore fill her promise. She scooted around Rhee, who was still sleeping up right, and went out to the hallway.

"Dilandau?" Katty groggily knocked on the door.

"Who's that?" a granny's crackling voice came from with in.

"Sorry, wrong one." Katty said, trudging towards Folken's room. "Dilandau?" Katty pushed gently on the door. It creaked ominously.

"W-wwho is it?" Dilandau stuttered, he was sitting up right on the bed, with Folken. Folken was asleep and a wall of pillows separated the bed.

"it's me, you woke me up." Katty sighed, looking at the frightened Dilandau. "what's wrong?"

"Folken-n-n's groping me..." Dilandau looked at Folken, who had turned back over to his side.

"Yeah," Katty stared quizedly at Dilandau.

"You've go to believe me!" Dilandau hoarsely whispered, staring at Folken. "I woke up to have his hand touching my chest!" Dilandau crept over to his bag and unzipped it.

"What's that?" Katty squinted in the dark.

"It's Folken's teddy bear, I stole it from him. I was going to burn it but..." Dilandau clutched the bear to his chest.

"Maybe that's why he's feeling around. He's still looking for his teddy." Katty sighed. Dilandau still looked stared. "here, what can I do so you'll go back to sleep?"

"Stay here, so he doesn't try anything. I don't want to be alone if he does." Dilandau said. Katty sighed, she crept into the bed, and she wasn't going to stand in the room for the rest of the night.

"Where am I going to sleep?" Dilandau nudged her, she was curled up in a ball.

"I'm not going to fall asleep, it's just very warm here.." she purred.

"Sit up, so you won't fall asleep. I don't trust you." Katty glared at Dilandau, she had gotten up, hadn't she?

"Fine." She leaned against the headboard. Dilandau crept back into the divided bed. He watched Folken until he fell asleep. Unfortunately Katty also fell asleep, as being accustom to falling asleep upright from her religion classes.

Folken turned back over and felt around the bed for his teddy. And to his slight surprise, he found it. But it was stuck, he was half awake already. He pulled at it, but someone pulled it back. Folken sat up, he just realized where he was. On the mystic moon in the same bed as Dilandau, but there were pillows. They had made sure of that, they had stolen some from the grannies' rooms to make sure there was enough. Folken turned on the bedside lamp. He caught a muffled gasp. Katty was in the bed too. And Dilandau was hugging Folken's teddy bear. His teddy bear...

Folken frowned what was Dilandau doing with his teddy? He would ask in the morning. He didn't want Dilandau to know that he knew that Katty was sleeping with them. He didn't care about Dilandau's reputation, but he did about Katty's. the slayers knew how to blow things out of portion, and everything. Folken silently cursed his luck, and turned away from Dilandau and Katty. He frowned, the pillows were pushed over to his side...

"Dilandau" he growled. He would have to get revenge for that too. But now he was tired and knew were his teddy was...

"Wake up! Wake up!" Dilandau shook Katty. He didn't want anyone to know that he was afraid of being alone with Folken.

"Yes, I was paying attention sister! You were talking about the differences in turnips and cabbage." Katty replied, opening her eyes really wide. "oh, it's only you, dilly." Katty sighed, then stared.

Dilandau.

"Oh yeah.." Katty blushed, she was supposed to have been keeping watch...

"Get out before anyone knows!" Dilandau hissed, carefully hiding Folken's teddy in his bag.

"Alright, alright!" Katty threw at pillow at him, and went to the door.

"That was fun! Well, let's see what's for breakfast." Guimel's voice came from the hallway.

"No!" Dilandau grabbed Katty away from the door. "not out that way!"

"Then what way?" Katty yawned.

"I don't know..." Dilandau stared at Folken, who was tossing in the bed. Katty humph-ed and sat on the bed. Folken peered out of his eyes. Who was that on the bed? Oh yea, Katty was there still.

"Morning." Folken hazily greeted the two.

"Morning, folkie." Katty said happily, flopping on the bed.

"Oh no!" Dilandau groaned, Folken had found out.

"Don't worry Dilandau, I already knew. I woke up last night after being pushed off the bed..." Folken growled. Dilandau sulked, he didn't like sharing anything. "I also saw my teddy bear." Folken hissed. Dilandau looked at him.

"What teddy bear?" Dilandau smirked.

"Give me the teddy and I might help you with this." Folken grinned, gasp! Okay it was more of a twitch at the corners of his mouth, but let's just call it a grin.

"How could you help me?" Dilandau roared.

"I could sneak her over to her room..." Folken held up his giant cape.

"Oh yeah! That would work!" Dilandau said, jumping up and down excitedly.

"Just give me my teddy..." Folken held out his claw. Dilandau eyed it.

"Here you go!" Katty place the bear in Folken's claw.

"Hey! That's mine!" Dilandau yelled, trying to snatch it back.

"So Dilandau has a teddy? Huh, that'll be interesting to the generals next dinner. Won't it now?" Folken smiled. If anything, Dilandau looked up to the generals. Folken couldn't understand why thought. Why would anyone think that five fat old farts were great people? I mean they were all fat old men who sat watching TV drinking beer and eating cookies and being slobs. they were the nasty things that were called human beings. They were also womanizers as Folken found out when they tried hitting on Katty. And Katty thought that they were weird. And Dilandau was mortified the whole time. But that is another story. Katty and the generals. But we are right now talking about the generals that barely are even used in the series, which was Folken couldn't stand to think anyone could admire them. Well, Dilandau did. It made Folken retch.

"You wouldn't, would you?" Dilandau trembled a little. Folken didn't answer, but hid Katty under the cloak.

He left Dilandau there.

Folken had made it safely over to Katty's room, and Rhee was still asleep.

They all had breakfast, and the evil grannies prepared it for them. Katty had disgusted Dilandau, so he looked like the movie Dilandau. Lucky the grannies had bad eyesight. But maybe that's why they dressed so badly and their makeup was crooked and stuff.

"Come on!" Rhee yelled at the slayers. They were leaving, and the slayers had finally found out how Katty's lava lamp worked.

And they all sat in the gay's room watching it.

"Hey look! A marshmallow!"

"That looks like Guimel's hair."

"And that one looks like an eye."

"No it's a guymelef."

"It's a squid!"

"Sponge bob!"

"It's a piece of lard!"

The slayers looked at Katty, who was pulling out the luggage.

"Ohhhhhh." The slayers returned to their fighting over what the blobs were.

"Idiots." Rhee said rolling her eyes.

"I want to touch it..." Gatti said, reaching out to the lamp. "ouch!" Gatti sucked his burnt finger. "that hurt."

"You want me to give you something that really hurts so you can cry about that too?" Dilandau jeered. His men were pansies.

"No, Dilandau-sama."

"Good."

"I wonder what's a monkey." Guimel looked at the lamp.

"A what?"

"A monkey." Guimel repeated for Viole. "Rhee said that the lamp had monkey lard in it."

"Let's see!" Gatti got the pliers, and after much difficulty, the slayers were able to pull off the screw on top.

"Okay, Guimel, since it's yours, you get the lard." Guimel knobbed, but was very scared.

"What are you doing? Get out to the car!" Folken grumpily ordered. The slayers scrambled to the car, and Guimel had his lamp in a towel.

And so the car was packed. And Folken drove once move over a steep cliff. And once more a blue pillar took them home. And I have to say once more once more. Thank you.

Section ii

Shesta hummed happily, he had just finished his sparring practice. Time for the showers. Except there was a line.

"What's going on?" Shesta asked the sweaty Miguel.

"Katty is in there. Her water heater is broken. So she took our showers hostage." Shesta looked at the line. He would have to wait for a while.

"So, did you use the new chute yet?" Miguel asked Shesta. Yesterday Dilandau had announced that the slayers had a new laundry chute. It was an unexpected thing to happen.

But what really happened was that Dilandau had found that the air duct in the slayers room was connected to Folken's bedroom. A few adjustments and everything that was thrown in the vent fell into Folken's room.

But the slayers didn't know that.

Only Dilandau did.

"Yeah, I can't wait to use it!" Viole sighed. "I mean that Dilandau even said we could throw the clothes we make love in there! He didn't even change the subject right away like usually!" Viole smiled. This was a historical moment for him.

"Isn't that the new garbage chute too?" Gatti asked. "I mean it must be sorted out when it lands, right?" the slayers nodded.

"I think so, I mean, I don't want a clean candy wrapper or something else to wear instead." Miguel said.

"Well, what happens if I threw a holey sock down there? Would it be thrash because it was holey, or laundry because it's a sock?" Shesta asked, he knew that all the slayers neglected fixing their rips and tears. Dilandau had told them that it wasn't manly and he would punish anyone he saw sewing.

So they let their underclothes get ratty.

"I don't know..." Gatti said. The slayers thought about this. Laundry or trash.

"Or what happens when I want my ratty bunny to be washed?" the slayers laughed. Shesta had always slept with a thing that Shesta insisted was a bunny. When Katty had found it she burst out laughing.

"It was a rabbit in its first life Shesta. This is the decomposing remains." That had made Shesta cry. And then Shesta had hugged his bunny.

"We don't know. I think that would be trash more likely." Shesta squealed.

"Then I won't get him washed!" the slayers laughed. Shesta was fun to annoy, like when you annoy your little sister. But it isn't fun when your little sister annoys you when you are typing because then you get mad and can't think of what you were typing and then you get these really long sentences. Boy, my English teacher would be so disappointed in me. Yes I know that this story has awful grammar and everything, but it's summer. Okay? Aright? On with my long chapter...and the chipmunks as I promised.

Gatti lay on his bed, he had just finished his shower. Katty had finally finished after using the showers for two hours. When asked about it, she told them she was shaving.

"But I only take about five minutes to shave!" Miguel had protested. Katty had frowned. She looked at Miguel's legs and told him he didn't do a good job. The slayers were confused, but then Guimel got the little light bulb thingy above his head.

"I heard the women shave their legs, except if they're French, or something..." they had looked at each other. Why? I don't really know to tell the true, but we just do. Maybe it's because it makes us bike faster. My PE coach used to shave his legs and he said that it made him faster on the bike. But then again, he also fed his cat oatmeal every morning. And he liked my religion teacher who was obsessed with turnips and her cat. She made her cat give up tuna for lent. But this has little to do with the story, except now you know about where we get most of our ideas.

Well, Gatti laid on his bed, he had just thrown his clothes into the new chute, which everyone was talking about. Dilandau smiled evilly every time someone mentioned it to him. Gatti shrugged, he didn't care, as long as he didn't have to keep the smelly clothes in the room.

"Do you think they'll fold them and put little mints on them?" Shesta asked as he entered the room.

"No, Dilandau would steal the chocolates if there were any. And I don't think leather folds to well." Shesta sighed disappointedly.

"Guess not." Gatti watched as Shesta played with the air vent. "okay guys, you can come out." Shesta whispered into the vent.

Note this is not the new 'laundry' chute that Shesta is whispering into. This is another one. Thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart. Yes, one of teachers always told me that after I asked him a question. Sigh, I get all the weird teachers.

"Master Shesta? Is that you?" a high-pitched voice came from the vent.

"Yes, Chippy, it's me." Shesta whispered. Gatti rolled his eyes, Shesta thought he was fooling him, then Shesta was wrong. Gatti knew about them. All the slayers did.

But Katty didn't.

And Katty wanted an explanation when she walked into the room to see Shesta talking to the vent.

"Well, umm, they're my pets."

"What? The air vents are pets? The one in the hall looks pretty dusty, made you should feed it"

"Lord Dilandau was going to kill them. So I freed them,-

"How can you kill an air vent?"

"-and now they live in the air vents." Shesta sobbed. A chipmunk wiggled out of the vent. Katty stared at the chipmunk. It was wearing sunglasses and a little shiners hat. And it spoke.

"Master Shesta, are you alright? We didn't hear from you in a while." The chipmunk chirped.

"I was on vacation with Katty. Katty, met Chippy." Shesta held up the chipmunk.

"Nice to met you, but are there more?" Katty asked.

"Oh, yes I know her. I watch her every night. And then I watch her in the mornings and then I watch her for the rest of the day. Everyone does. Well, expect for Cleo. She's doesn't like to watch you." Chippy stated as if it were normal for chipmunks to stalk strangers from the air vents. Katty's face was twisted with disgust.

"Shesta you've got peeping toms!" Katty yelped.

"Oh, no Katty. None of the chipmunks are named tom. You've got Chippy, Cleo, Chip, C-monk, Chesta, Chesta the little, Chesta the fat, Chesta the gay, Chesta the chip, Chesta the Chesta, and Chesta minor, and ...I forgot the rest." Shesta said as he counted his fingers. He was missing a few, but he couldn't remember them. "oh well."

"Master Shesta, everything is just walnutty in the vents. Is everything good for master Shesta too?" Chippy chirped.

"Yes, everything is-"

"Why do you call him master Shesta?" Katty asked.

"Well," Chippy sat down, that is if you could tell. You see Shesta loved his fugitive chipmunks and they were quite fat. So their mass of fat and fur made it hard to tell what any of them were doing. But we're guessing that Chippy sat down. Guessing, but if you see Chippy, ask him okay? But last I heard he got rabies...

"Well, master Shesta saved us from the wrath of devil Dilandau. He was going to get revenge because we were better."

"Better than what?"

"Than his dogs."

"He has dogs?" Shesta was turning pale as the conversion drew on. Shesta had an encounter with Dilandau's 'dogs'. It wasn't pleasant either.

"Umm, Chippy. It's getting late..."

"Katty?!!!!" Dilandau's roar echoed down the hall.

"I'm in Shesta, Gatti, and Miguel's room!" Katty yelled back. Dilandau burst into the room a few minutes later. Chippy stared at Dilandau and Dilandau stared at Chippy.

Dilandau's eye twitched. Chipper's eye twitched. Well we think it did.

"What is that doing here?" Dilandau sneered. "I thought I tossed them over the edge of the hanger."

"You threw a paper version of us over. Heehe, you didn't even realize that the box you threw over was almost weightless? You're so stupid!"

"Take that back chipmunk!"

"Dilandau-sama, his name is Chippy."

"It's got a name?!" Dilandau stared at Shesta.

"Yes, lord Dilandau. All of them do..." Shesta cowered.

"What?!" Dilandau fumed, the chipmunks were all still at large and alive! And they had out smarted him! And now they lived in an air vent! But that air vent was also going to become a laundry chute! So thus the title- chipmunks that live in a laundry chute.

"Don't hurt me!" Shesta cried, cowering. Dilandau lifted up his leathered fist.

"Don't you dare touch master Shesta!" the chipmunk ordered. Dilandau stared at the midget chipmunk.

"Did you just call him master? I am the only one who will be call that here!"

"Never!" the chipmunk spit a sunflower seed at Dilandau.

"Let's go." Katty pulled the fuming Dilandau out of the room.

"I'll get you one day!" Dilandau yelled down the hall. Katty walled in silence, but stared at the air vents and shuttered. What gross little chipmunks.

Life would never be the same for Katty. Or Shesta or the chipmunks, or the person that is going to have Kat bug all during her vacation. Well, live is never the same.

Dilandau pouted all thought out the time that Katty was making bread.

"Do you know what they say about bread?" Katty asked humming to herself.

"No." Dilandau retorted.

"Well, early to bread, late to rise means the yeast is yucky and dry." Dilandau looked at her, she continued to hum.

"Penny for your thoughts, oh wait never mind. Sorry, I forgot." Dilandau grinned.

"Hey!" Katty frowned. "I do to think! I jut chose not too!" she smiled.

Awww.. a sappy ending. Well, I made this chapter long enough. Did you notice that we still haven't woken up Dallet? We aren't being mean to him, he was just getting hard to use, he'll be back, don't worry. We mean no offense to any of the characters, we promise. But that's why Rhee doesn't like to be in this too much. She says she doesn't want to look like an airhead, but I don't care too much

R-You're such an airhead

K-Well, I would like to say I thank everyone who has read this and reviewed it. And thanks to my friends who kept emailing me to continue...haha, if they didn't I might forget!


	6. belated birthday

k- gosh, school's been awful, sniff. I've finally made up with Rhee, so here

is the next chapter!

R- just note that Kat's still mad at Alex....

Disclaimer—I'll do this in a riddle...

What's nicer than God, and eviler than the devil,

The rich need it, the poor have it,

And if you eat it you die?

...And how much I own Escaflowne?

K- I actually got this riddle on the first time!

R- that's rare.

K- no it's not!

R- what ever.

Katty walked down the hall alone.

"Hell-o? Anyone? I am sooo bored...." Katty peered around the empty hallway. Well, it was seemly empty. Gatti tip toed with a huge squirming sack and dressed as a monk, towards a seemingly empty room. Katty smiled evilly and tip toed quietly behind Gatti, who was struggling with the bag. She managed to slip in the dimly lit room with out Gatti noticing. Gatti started to untie the sack. Shesta sat gagged and bound. Gatti, who easily lifted Shesta, placed Shesta on a tiny table in the center of the room.

"And now my lord, I give you a sacrifice." Gatti said to an alter so high up; Katty couldn't see what was at the top. But Shesta started struggling like no tomorrow. Gatti didn't seem to notice as he pulled out a very sharp long blade.

"NNOOOOOOOOOoooooooo" Katty latched herself on to Gatti's arm.

"Katty, what are you doing? My lord demands a sacrifice." Gatti said calmly.

"What are you doing? And how come you have to sacrifice Shesta? Why not one of the nameless slayers?"

"Because they have names." Gatti replied simply.

"But why would lord Dilandau what you to kill Shesta?" Katty whined.

"Lord Dilandau doesn't."

"Then who is your lord..."? Katty peered up at the stone alter. She started to climb the never-ending stairs.

"No! Katty you aren't blessed!" Gatti angrily yelled.

"Oh my god!" Katty yelled in disgust. "This is your lord?" Katty pointed at the can of Spam sitting on a velvet pillow.

"Yea, so?" Gatti yelled.

"I hate Spam!!! It one thing that I can't make taste worst than it already is!" Katty screamed and threw the can over the edge. And hit Shesta on the head. "Ops." Then the giant band of chipmunks quickly carried away Shesta, who was still tried like a fatten calf.

And that's how she found out about Gatti's love of pagan gods. And Gatti found out about Katty's unreasonable fear and hate of Spam. And Dilandau found out about the chipmunks, oh wait he already knew about the chipmunks. Sorry.

The dragon slayer hall floor was covered with the identical blue bags, and the four other colored ones. The slayers were having a sleep over in honor of Dilandau's sixteenth birthday for the millionth time. As it seems, Dilandau never gets an older, because he is a cartoon character.

"Hahaha! It's my birthday!" Dilandau smiled. He could be as awful as he wanted, and no one could say anything, because it was his birthday. But then again, he did that everyday, and nobody ever said anything. "Slayers, I just thought of something!" Dilandau glared at Dallet, so Dallet didn't say anything about how that's a first. "I need you to pile all your bags into a teepee thingy." The slayers, thoroughly confused, did as the birthday boy ordered. Dilandau pulled out an unlabeled liquid. He poured all over the bags, and pulled out a lighter.

"Burn!!" he laughed as the gasoline quickly spread the fire. The slayers groaned.

Just then sprinklers stared pouring from the ceiling.

"What the?" Dilandau growled.

"Awwww, it's raining on the party, and the weather man said that there was no chance of rain today. Damn you weather man!" Katty yelled shaking her fist at the anti- fire devices.

"Idiots." Rhee said.

"I just got those installed after Dilandau burned the pole that fell on his head." Folken sighed. "Those were really hard to install, but the pole and the fire sprinklers. The directions were in English."

"Oh, I have that problem with my model kits, except their in frickin' Japanese." Rhee snarled. The sprinklers stopped.

"Yay! The rain stopped!" Katty jumped up and down all over the room.

"Well, I can have my feast now." Dilandau rubbed his tummy.

"Who said you were getting a feast?" Folken asked.

"Katty." Dilandau sat there for a while. "Oh." If Katty had made the feast....

"Here you got!" Katty opened the slayers lockers, and on the table clothed benches laid large amounts of sweets. "A sweet for a sweet!"

"That couldn't be Dilandau." Dallet whispered to Guimel.

"This is good..." Viole started to sit at the end, eating a cookie.

"No!" Dilandau shoved voile out of the spot. "I'm sitting here." Dilandau sat down, and forced Shesta to sit farer away.

"Here you go!" Katty place a pretty cake right in front of Dilandau. "It's red velvet." Dilandau licked his finger, which he shoved into the cake.

"This is good, really good.... no one can have any. It allllll mine." Dilandau rammed his fist directly into the middle of the cake. "Well, Shesta, you can have some." Dilandau picked up a sloppy piece of the cake.

"Really?" Shesta's face smiled.

"Of course. I mean, why not?" Dilandau smiled and shoved it into Shesta's mouth.

"Hahaha!" Dilandau grabbed his sides. "Here Viole, why don't you try this cake?" Dilandau grabbed voile's single curl and rammed Viole's face into the coconut cake.

Dilandau started turning purple, and was no longer making any noise as he laughed.

"My cakes...." Katty glared at Dilandau. "You're going to eat this, hehehheheee" Katty shoved the rest of Dilandau's red velvet cake into his mouth. "Why don't you cool off?" she poured the fruit punch down Dilandau's back.

"Hey!" Dilandau grabbed the ice cream cake, which was melting, and tossed it at Katty.

"Food fight, food fight, food fight." The slayers chanted, banging their forks into the benches.

"Sure go ahead, it's your guys' locker room." Folken said as the slayers looked at Folken for approval. The slayers frowned, but watched as Katty and Dilandau brawl it out. The slayers kept the endless supply of food to fuel the feuding two's hands full.

"Well, you two should stop." Rhee said, pulling Katty off Dilandau.

"Why?" the two glared at Rhee.

"Because you two have more food on you, than you two have eaten."

"Plus, I'm hungry." Viole licked Dilandau's arm.

"Ewww! Get away from me!" Dilandau shoved Viole away.

"Get away from him!" Katty tackled Viole.

"Stop it Katty." Rhee restrained Katty. "Why are you so feisty?" Katty looked up at Rhee. She stared at the food, and began to eat the cake. The room stared at Katty.

"Aren't you going to say something."? Dilandau poked Katty. Katty looked at him.

"Hello?"

"She's not talking to you." Shesta said, wiping his mouth off.

"Why not?"

"You haven't asked for your present yet."

"Present?" Dilandau's eyes widen.

"Present?" Folken lifted an eyebrow, well as best he could do with out much practice.

"Yea, haven't you noticed there's been no paper anywhere lately?" Shesta asked, his mouth half full.

"Yea..." Dilandau nodded.

"Katty's been taking it."

That would explain...

Insert time ripples 

"Lord Folken, I have a message from the empire." Gatti voice is heard. You see Folken turn from his desk.

"Yes? Were is it?"

"Right here." Gatti takes of his glove. "He says..."

_Insert time ripples_

And that time too...

_Insert more time ripples_

Gatti had rushed into the room, breathing heavily.

"What is it Gatti?" Folken sighted.

"Yeah, Gatti. Why are you here?" Dilandau sneered.

"I have an urgent message from Dornkirk..." Gatti huffed.

"Well, let's here it." Dilandau frowned.

"Right sir." Gatti took off his shirt. He started to run around in circles like a dog would to catch its tail.

"What are you doing?" Dilandau frowned harder.

"The message is upside down on my back." Gatti sighed. Just then Rhee walked in.

"I can read upside down." Rhee pulled Gatti over towards her. "What?! This is in frickin' Japanese! Baka!!!" Rhee threw down Gatti and storm out of the room. Dilandau looked at Gatti's back.

"Stupid Gatti, this isn't upside down." Dilandau read the message, which started at the base of Gatti's back and continued on to his shoulders. "Stay still, it's hard enough reading it with out you wiggling." Then Dilandau had continued to yell at Gatti...

_More time wrinkles._

Oh, and that time too...

_More and more time wrinkles._

Gatti had just entered the steamy bathhouse.

"Woa, Gatti! You trying to perform something, or what not?" Miguel asked, as Gatti removed his shirt.

"No." Gatti tartly answered. He had stuff written all over him, even on his eyelids.

"Dilandau- Sama just has a lot of improvements." Gatti grumbled.

"Oh...." Shesta said as he read Gatti's arm.

"And he used the extra strength $& markers." Gatti cursed.

"Do you have any thing written down there...?" Viole pointed to Gatti's bathing suit.

"No you pervert!" Gatti slashed water at Viole. They had been wearing bathing suits since the day Katty had insisted that she too would be allowed to use the bathing house too.

"Darn..." Viole sighed.

_More time ripples._

Folken wasn't too sure why he had flash backs about that, he wasn't even there...but there was another time too...

_This time there are time bubbles, followed by someone saying excuse me._

Folken grumpily enters the slayer's hall. He had just finished using their bathrooms because Dornkirk was still in his.

"Dilandau."

"What is it?" Dilandau grunted as he parried Miguel's attacks.

"Do you know the state of the slayers' toilet room?"

"No, heck why should I care?" Dilandau growled as he hit Miguel in the head.

"Well, someone doesn't know how to flush. And when the bathroom stinks, they don't know how to use the air fresher either."

"So?" Dilandau wiped off his forehead.

"Well, I just thought that you should know." Folken looked at the slayers, who were rather embarrassed.

"We flush!" the slayers said in unison.

"Of course. But how come you never use the air fresher?"

"Because it's like the handle, you have to press down. Which is something my men can't seem to do. You know, that little button on the spray can is exactly like flushing the toilet." Dilandau smirked.

"This wouldn't happen if we just had those sensor toilets." Guimel sighed.

"Yeah, you know the ones with the heat sensors in the seat." Dallet added.

"Actually there's a beam that is behind the toilet that tells the toilet to flush." Folken corrected Dallet.

"Oh."

"Well, I am glad we don't have those sensor toilets. I mean what happens if they were to suck me into it?" Shesta squealed. Dilandau laughed.

"I can see it now, _tiny slayer gets sucked down the toilet_. Now that's what I would read, not this crap." Dilandau jesters towards a pile of Folken's burning textbooks he had told Dilandau to read.

_Insert for the last time some time bubbles...._

That nothing with do with the missing paper, but Folken had thought of it anyways.

"Man, you thin k of the weirdest things." Rhee said, as she stopped prying into Folken's thoughts.

"Well, Katty. Whatcha get me?" Dilandau said, trying to keep his excitement down, he had never had a birthday gift before.

"I made this!" Katty handed Dilandau a large origami box.

"It's a box." Dilandau stared at it.

"No, it's in side the boxes." Katty whined. Dilandau opened up the box to see another box.

"It's a box." Dilandau stared at this one; it was black with little red flames. The first was just black.

"No, it's in that box too." Dilandau opened up the box to see, another box.

"Whoopee." Dilandau said sarcastically after the hundredth box.

"You're almost there." Katty said happily.

"How can you tell? Have you been counting the boxes?" Miguel asked.

"No, but look at the box, it's almost completely flamed. The boxes get a bigger flame the closer you are!" Katty clapped her hands happily. Dilandau finally pulled out two items. One was a magic 8 ball. Dilandau looked at it, and tossed it aside.

"What's this?" he held up a red satin bag.

"It's a party bag. It's full of games to play! Pick one!!!!" Katty hopped up and down. Dilandau ruffled around in the bag, and the slayers leaned in. If it was one thing they learned, Katty had the oddest games to play. Like the game where you had to guess how many fingers she was holding up, and the game were she would ask questions about how many carbs were in the food she was eating. They were all fun games. Especially since they always seemed to win...

"Guimel, how many carbs are in this ice cream?"

"Umm, 45?"

"Okay."

...

"Girl talk." Dilandau read off the slip of paper that he had finally chosen.

"Let's go Folken." Rhee dragged Folken out of the room. "You don't want to do that."

"Ohhhhh, I'll start." Katty dragged the slayers into the hall and they sat in a circle. "I like this guy, but, sniff, he doesn't seem to know. And I am too shy to tell him..." Katty started crying.

"Oh don't cry Katty! He's probably an idiot!" The slayers comforted her.

"Yeh, what ever." Dilandau snuffed.

"Your turn Guimel!" Katty said, quickly recovering from her tearful confession.

"You see, I like this guy."

"Go on."

"And he likes me..."

"Ohhhh-hh, so what's the problem?"

"He's always making love to me, and I am not ready." Guimel sniffled.

"Ohh, poor Guimel!!" the slayers hugged the brawling Guimel.

"It's Shesta's turn!" Katty said as Guimel calmed down.

"My rabbit broke." Shesta held up two rags.

"Rabbit?......"

"Okay, I have had enough of this game!" Dilandau growled. "Let's play something else."

"Ohh, lets play this a little longer..." Miguel whined.

"Here, we can talk about pets instead." Katty offered. The slayers agreed. "I have a cat."

"Duh." Dilandau rolled his eyes.

"I had a fish, but my little sister staved it to death, but it didn't die till about a year after we stopped feeding it. And my cat's tail was 'trimmed' by my mother. Let's just say the tip was flattened." Viole made a face.

"Well, I had some gerbils." Miguel said, for he was sitting next to Katty. "But they died." Katty and Shesta stared at Miguel.

"When did they die?"

"The day after I got them." Miguel replied. Katty and Shesta backed slowly away from Miguel.

"Let's see if they're playing something else now..." Rhee and Folken poked their heads in.

"Rhee! Folkie! You're just in time for your turns! We are talking about our pets!" Katty smiled.

"I had a cat, but it's lost 10 of its 9 lives." Rhee said plainly. Katty made a face.

"You mean that thing was a cat?"

"It is a cat." Rhee responded. Katty gagged.

"Well, I have a brother." Folken said. The slayers stared at him for a while and went on.

"I have chipmunks..." Shesta said, peering at Dilandau out of the corner of his eyes. Dilandau was glaring at Shesta.

"I had a roach farm. And I let them run free. I see them occasionally." Dallet said, rubbing his chin. Katty made a reaching sound.

"I had fish, but when I took them out to play with them they weren't any fun. So I put them back in the tank, were they went to sleep. And they are still sleeping."

"Dilandau, how would fish sleep?" Folken asked.

"You know, when they are floating at the top with their bellies up." Dilandau sighed.

"Umm, that means they're dead." Folken frowned.

"No, they are sleeping. And I have two dogs...somewhere...." Dilandau shrugged. "I don't feed them any more." Shesta quivered. As we have said, Shesta had a life threatening encounter with the dogs were they almost ate him, but that's another story. And I believe I shall never ever say any more about it...it just sooo sad.... yeah right.

"I had an ant farm." Guimel said. "I got them these 'ant treats' and an ant hotel. I didn't think they had any, but they had them at the grocery store. The ants seemed to like them, but then they died."

"Anyone else have a pet that didn't die?" Katty asked.

"Well, voile had a caterpillar, but it turned into a little turd on a leaf. It wasn't moving, so we threw it out."

"I had an imaginary friend, but Dilandau scared him away." Gatti sighed.

"You never had a friend. I couldn't see him!" Dilandau yelled at Gatti.

"I did too." Gatti huffed. And he did, but again Dilandau had been himself, and frightened the friend away. That was around the time Gatti had started worshiping idols...like Spam....

"I have a worm." Everyone turned to Folken.

"Were is it? I've never seen it." Dilandau said.

"It's next to my bed." Katty made a face.

"I think it's time to stop the conversion...."

"Okay, then I'll pick out another game." Dilandau reached in the bag again. "Charades. What's that?"

"Rhee, how do you play that again?" Katty asked.

"You have one person act something out with out saying anything. The rest of you try and guess what the person is trying to be." Rhee scratched her head.

"Oh...." Was the chorus of the blue slayers.

"But I am a terrible actor..." Guimel sighed.

"Me too." Dallet nodded.

"Me three!" "Me four!" "Me five" "me.... fifteen!" Rhee-sweat drop.

"Well, just do your best. These aren't that hard." Rhee said as she looked at the cards.

"Who wants to go first?" Miguel waved his hand frantically. "Okay Miguel. You are going to act out..." Rhee stared at the first card. "Murder."

"How do I act that out?" Miguel whispered. Rhee shrugged. Miguel looked at the crowd and sighed. Katty waved her hand spaz-tasicly. She started turning purple at her effort.

"Katty, what are you doing?" Rhee asked.

"Finally, you called on me...um is it that you're depressed?" Katty asked. Rhee slapped her forehead.

"No, that's not the answer, he hasn't even started yet. And Katty, you're allowed to make as much noise as you want, its the actor who can't say anything." Rhee rolled her eyes. They were getting worse everyday. Miguel sighed again. He fell over on the ground.

"Oh my god! Miguel died! Was he poisoned? Who would want to murder Miguel?!" Shesta screamed.

"Okay Shesta, you got it. Your turn." Miguel stood up and sat in Shesta's seat.

"What was it? What did I get? Hey Miguel! You're alive!" Shesta smiled.

"Okay Shesta you are going to act like Allen's guymelef... the snozradior? Or what ever it's called." Rhee whispered, Katty would really need to learn how to spell one of these days.

Shesta pulled out a chair. He stood on it, and jumped off it, tucking his one knee under and holding a fork like Allen holds his sword. This is Allen's renown very annoying poise that he is commonly seen in. Personally, I think it is very gay.

The slayers stared at him.

"A bird?" Shesta shook his head. Shesta thought for a while, and then started prancing around like Allen does.

"He looks like that retarded ass Allen Sch-zar." Dilandau growled.

"Good job Dilandau. You're turn." Shesta only a little too happily stopped prancing.

"Dilandau you are going to act out... the ocean."

"What's that?" Dilandau asked as Rhee sat down.

"You're not allowed to talk." Katty pouted.

"What the hell is the ocean?!" Dilandau yelled, throwing down his card with a little picture of, guess what, the ocean.

"Ocean?" Katty asked, looking at Dilandau. "That's were we went snorkeling."

"Well, Katty it's your turn." Rhee picked another card. "Cat."

"Yes?"

"That's what you're acting out. A cat."

"Yes, my name is Kat. Really Rhee, you don't need to remind me." Katty laughed.

"No, you are going to be a cat, like the little mammal. Understand?"

"Ohhhh." Katty winked. "Yes I know." She got on to her hands and knees. "Meow, meow, meow.."

"Cat."

"No, that's my name."

"A cat?"

"I know my name! What am I acting as thought?"

"A cat."

"No, I am not acting like me!"

"A cat, one that says meow, meow." Dallet finally concluded.

"Yea!" Katty jumped up.

"Katty, you're not allowed to make noise though...." Rhee sighed. "Dallet you are going to be a cactus...."

"A what?" Dallet wrinkled his nose. Dallet stood in front of the slayers. "Pst, Viole...do you know what a cactus is?"

"A cactus!" Viole and Guimel said together.

"Okay, Viole and Guimel it's your turn. You going to be...." Rhee gagged. "Lovers."

"We already are." Voile pointed out. Rhee was covering her mouth. Voile shrugged and started to kiss Guimel.

"Stop it you gays!!!" Dilandau screamed.

"They are lovers..." Folken frowned.

"Good, Folken. I would never have gotten that!" Katty smiled.

"Your card is a ...clown." Rhee started to laugh.

"What's so funny?" Gatti asked, he wanted a turn.

"Nothing." Rhee said with a funny smile. Folken did a distorted smiled. Then everyone was staring at him like he lost his mind, he started to juggle wine bottles. Then he hopped on one foot, and this would have been very entertaining sight, if the slayers could have not been so confused. Rhee is in the corner, doubled over cracking up.

"He reminds me of that scary clown I saw once..." Gatti shuttered. "He has the make up...and that clown killed my father...." Gatti stared at Folken, who hopped off the big rubber ball he had produced out of thin air.

"Well, Gatti the last card is Dilandau." Rhee looked at the card. There was a crude picture done by Katty on it.

"Aww, does that mean I don't get a card?"

"No, you're going to act like Dilandau." Gatti looked at Dilandau, who was having fun braiding Shesta's, Viole's, and Miguel's hair together. Katty had just shown him how. He wasn't attempting to do Guimel's, it was too curly. Instead, Dilandau had gotten out Katty's pair of wool cutters....

Gatti laughed evilly, and began to stroke his cheek. Then he hit Guimel and voile, laughing even harder.

"Dilandau stop it!" Katty yelled, pulling her long hair away from Dilandau, who was staring at Gatti now.

"Okay, game's over!" Rhee grabbed Gatti, who was still laughing evilly.

"That was really fun." Gatti said after they got him calmed down.

"Of course it is. Dumb ass!" Dilandau laughed, and hit Gatti.

"Pwheee! Dilandau your voice stinks! Here take this." Katty hands Dilandau Listerine.

"What is this?"

"It's mouth wash. Kill the germs, feel the clean." Katty boomed. Dilandau shrugged, and took a mouth full. "Don't sallow it. You spit it back out after a minute of so." Katty said, spiting out her own mouthful. Dilandau was fine for the first few seconds, and then

it started to burn. Dilandau spits it all out, and gargles water.

"What are you trying to do? Kill me!?" Dilandau yelled.

"What? Did it sting?" Katty cooed. "I forgot that if you aren't accustomed to it, it tends to burn..." Dilandau smiled.

"Slayers! Get in here!" The slayers lined up in the bathroom, each in their matching blue pjs. "Here you go. You need to gargle this till I say to stop." Dilandau smiled as the slayers started to make faces as the tingling sensation set in.

"That's evil!" Katty said as she handed each slayer a glass of water. Shesta's eyes started to water.

"Why aren't you in your pjs?" Dilandau asked, looking at Katty. Katty smiled funnily and said something about the air vents.

"Whatever...."Dilandau walked out of the room, never telling the slayers to stop.

Of course they shouldn't say anything, they had mouthwash in their mouths.

That night went pretty well, except for the various sleep conditions of the slayers. Dilandau also found it funny that he could torment them in their sleep as well as in the daytime. He put toothpaste on Viole, and shaving cream on Gatti. He placed Miguel's hand in warm water, but this woke Katty up.

"What are you doing?" Katty angrily accused Folken, who was still asleep next to her.

"Nothing." Dilandau giggled, and Katty stalked over to Miguel's sleeping bag. Shesta got up a few seconds after Dilandau put Miguel's hand in the bucket.

"Shesta what are you doing up?" Dilandau whispered. Shesta whimpered.

"I peed in my pants. I had a nightmare." Shesta sobbed. He ran into the hall and returned later, wearing clean pjs. Dilandau shrugged and went back to his mischief.

"Katty, I can't sleep." Shesta whispered, as Katty crept back to her sleeping bag.

"Why not?"

"Guimel stole my bunny..."

"Okay, you why don't you sleep with Viole or someone?"

"voile is gay."

"Oh, yea...want to sleep next to me?"

"Uh-huh." Katty sighed, and Shesta dragged his sleeping bag over Dallet, who had kick me written on his face. Dallet mumbled something and turned over.

Shesta lay his sleeping back next to Katty's.

"Good night."

"Good night."

"Hehehheee...." Dilandau's laughter echoed thought the hall. Katty angrily grabbed Folken's pillow and threw it at Dilandau.

"Hey! You can't do that! It's my birthday!" Dilandau whined.

"No any more!" Katty pointed to the clock, it ticked at 1:34. "Go to sleep!"

And he did, amazingly. But not right away, first he added a few things to Folken...

K- I know this is over a month late, but I did start it on the 8th. And I was going to have it ready, but school and other things have kept it from being finished....sigh...stupid hurricane, stupid school.... sigh, I am soo tired...I don't know when I'll have time for the next chapter... all my free time has been promised to sleep.

R-me too.

K-and talking to new and old friends...

R-me too.

K-and thinking of ways to kill Alex.

R-not me.

K- bye!


	7. Mixups and Generals

Katty- I don't know, but I think I've become unfunny….I mean the stories don't make me laugh anymore…Is it because I write them?

Rhee- It because you've read it so many times that it no longer is funny.

Katty- Oh, okay…

Rhee- To those people who wait for you to write, we could have just written blah blah blah blah blah **SPAZ JUICE **blah blah blah and they would have laughed their heads off.

Katty- tee-hee That's funny. But I hope everyone enjoys anyways! I hope you find at least one good laugh, if not, I am sorry to say you're probably sane ….

Disclaimer- We own nothing more than the shoes on our back, and the gloves in our ears. We sadly wish for that day when we will find a time machine and be able to own Escaflowne. But sadly that day not arrived, that day and the day that I will be able to produce something intelligent to write a story about has yet to come.

We shall call these two days the Secret of Life.

Thank you,

The manager

Katty, deprived of sleep from last minute studying and such, walked aimlessly around the halls. Rhee had come about a week earlier, cause she was lucky enough to have not gotten into a high standard school.

Gatti was looking for Katty with some very important news.

"Kattty, Katty!" he called as the walking zombie trudged her way down the hall to who knows were. "Katty!" Gatti, who had caught up to Katty and was frenetically waving his arms like that would get her attention, yelled in her ear. He began waving his hand in front of her face….no response.

"Oh no! Miguel's force has finally taken over!" Gatti cried, forgetting to move. Katty smashed into him, and fell over. Gatti, who was awake, turned to see her on the ground.

And he watched her.

And watched.

And watched….

And watched…….

It appeared that she was moving her head, but he couldn't be sure.

"Um…. are you alright?" Gatti whispered.

"Of course, I just can't move my legs, and am having quality time with the floor." Katty smiled up at Gatti.

"Oh…. okay…" Gatti said not noticing that Katty was being sarcastic. Just then…..the air vent started to make noise…. Katty eyed it suspiciously and jumped up on Gatti.

"Their coming…" Katty said quietly. Gatti started to shiver, he and the other slayers had just watched the Mr. Peee-wee's great adventures meets Barney's gang of fuzzy pre-k kids. And let's just say it wasn't a pretty picture.

Katty slowly crept off of Gatti, and tip toed up the hall. She turned slowly, and looked at him.

"Where are we?" she asked as the shadows grew longer.

"I don't have a clue."

"I wasn't asking about the game." Katty sighed. "I was … wait why are you even with me?"

"I was here to give you a message……." Gatti blushed.

"Welll……." Katty asked, her eyes widening. She always loved messages. The last one was … "due to unforeseen dinning hall events, the not a lunch lady named Katty shall be prohibited from going into the storage area. We would to know of any information regarding the disappearance of kitchen sink and the ice cooler. That is all. Wait, did you say that I ordered pickles? I certainly didn't. How dare you, you $#! Call me such names, I will have your head. Wait, you're not still copying this down you little burger are you?—End

Katty still had this message hanging on her wall in her new room. She had memorized it, but sadly it didn't help her in her history test. She was pressed for time on that exam, and concluded her essay about the fall of Roman Empire with "and they lived happily ever after."

"Well….." Katty looked at Gatti, her mind was now "on", and she was eager to get information that she wouldn't bother with anyways.

"Um….I forgot it!" Gatti cried as he fled down the hall. Katty frowned, now why would Gatti run away? She shrugged…and found herself in….the storage room. She smiled evilly, she had needed something….

Rhee was supervising the slayers as they used soapy towels to glide across the numerous hallways. She was watching the slayer kill each other as they attempted to do bumper cars with the towels. They had originally been employed to clean the hall ways, but they were far from succeeding from their original goal.

"Shesta, don't stick your head in bleach." Rhee monotonly said as the slayer eyed the foreign liquid. Shesta frowned, but Voile came by and stuck Shesta's head in the bleach anyways.

"aaaaaaahhhhhhhh! It burns! It burns!" Shesta cried as he rubbed his eyes. "it bur---" Shesta was carried off by Dallet's rag. Dallet pouted as he sat watching Shesta steal his towel. Miguel used this to stick the car polish in Dallet's hair. Dallet stuck his tongue out as Miguel passed him laughing. Guimel then used this time to slick Dallet's hair into a beautiful swan. This pleased Guimel, but Dallet was far from thrilled.

"Just how come you guys were sent to clean the halls?" Rhee asked with no emotion. Le gasp… She felt like she was babysitting, and she knew she wasn't going to be paid for this.

"The generals are coming over for dinner, and Dilandau wants everything to be perfect." Gatti said as he dodged Voile on his "sled" of a towel.

"And when is this happening?" Rhee eyed Shesta, who was returning round the bend.

"Sometime next year, supposedly, but it has already been delayed because of unforeseen events. Mainly these events have been happening in the cafeteria."

"And why isn't Dilandau the one who is watching you guys?"

"He is perfecting his hair, and his speech, and his outfit…"

"Oh please…" Rhee rolled her eyes as she grabbed Shesta, who was still crying.

"Who is that?" Gatti asked as he peered at the unknown person in the slayer's uniform.

"It-ttt-tt's me—ee. Ss—sshe-ss-ss-ta." Shesta sniffled. Gatti stared in disgust.

"Your hair…it's white…., but hey it kinda looks good on you.." Gatti said as he looked closer to the bleached Shesta. Shesta opened his eyes. Gatti and Rhee jumped back.

"What's wrong?" Shesta sobbed, his eyes had finally stopped stinging but they still itched. Rhee and Gatti looked at each other.

"You know who he looks like…….."

"He oddly reminds me of……"

Gatti and Rhee smiled evilly.

"This should be fun." Rhee smiled at the white haired, red eyed Shesta.

"What's going on?" Shesta whimpered as Rhee grabbed the scuff of Shesta's neck.

"Nothing…" Rhee smiled.

"What about the hall way. It's isn't clean." Viole protested, flicking his hair out of his face.

"I don't know how to clean." Rhee snarled. "If it looks clean, then it is clean."

"But this doesn't even look clean." Voile snubbed the hallways, which looked as if a full washer had overflowed. Rhee gritted her teeth, she couldn't argue, it was a total mess.

"Well, you can fatabulize it. Okay?" Voile's eyes sparkled. "Just no polka dots."

"Plu-lez, those are so 80's."

"Whatever….." Rhee rolled her eyes and continued on with her and Gatti's plan of something…..

Katty sat happily in her new room. The walls were covered with ice, and at first glance, the walls were ice. There were huge chunks of crystals everywhere, and they all paled in comparison to the throne that Katty had made. She sat on her winter wonder throne and smiled. She had enjoyed herself in successfully raiding every last piece of the frozen water that she so enjoyed to play with.

Rhee searched happily in Dilandau's room. The floor was covered with dirty clothes and empty wine cases, and at first glance, there was no floor. There were huge messes of Dilandau's nature were everywhere, and they paled in comparison to the mess of the bed that Dilandau had made. Rhee sat on the plushy bed and smiled. She had enjoyed herself in successfully raiding every last compartment of the room to find the complete outfit that she so enjoyed to use on her newest idea.

Gatti spent some time of the last touches of their project, Shesta's hair. Gatti had found it hard to believe that Dilandau used hair gel, and that his hair wasn't normally so flippant and curly.

"Now Shesta, you shall no longer respond to that name. You now are Dilandau, and shall call yourself as such." Rhee said as she placed the last and most important piece on Shesta's head, the tiara.

"But-ttt, how will I know what to say!" Shesta cried.

"There will be no more tears, Dilandau. You must be strong to lead your men. I'll feed you lines through this." Rhee held up what we commonly know as an ear bud, something that we use with our cell phones when we don't want to use our hands. But to Shesta, this was a bullet.

"What-ttttt! Are you going to kill Dilandau? You can't do that!" Shesta sobbed, trying to get the "bullet" away from Rhee.

"No, this is an ear---no I mean a "receptor of information and technology" that I have made specially for this, errr, project. This will connect you to me- no – god and he will direct you to what you should say. Here put it in your ear like so…" Shesta carefully placed the ear bud into his ear.

"Woww! It fits perfectly and it doesn't hurt! Then why in Katty's movies is there a lot of blood and hurties when someone gets hit with one of these?"

"That isn't a bullet." Rhee sighed, leading the two slayers out into the hallway. Folken was passing by.

"Folken!" Shesta laughed as he chased after Folken. Folken, paralyzed with fear that Dilandau was happily calling him, stared as 'Dilandau' hugged Folken. "Let's do our best for everyone!" Shesta happily cried. Folken edged away from the cheery Dilandau and as soon as possible, floated away.

"Well, that shows that the idiots of Zaibach can't tell the difference…" Rhee smiled. "This way, my lord." Katty was surprised with her guests.

"Rhee! Dil-no wait …that's Shesta!" Katty cried as she hopped off the frozen throne and tackled, umm I mean, hugged Shesta.

"How could you tell?" Shesta gasped as he patted her back.

"You are the only one I know who could have that look on your face." Katty smiled, and Shesta kept patting her back. "Shesta are you doing something?" Katty smiled.

"Yup, I am patting your back, is that alright?" Shesta asked tentively now that Katty was standing next to him.

"Oh it is perfectly alright, but I can't feel a thing." Katty smiled. "One disadvantage of having an ice thrown."

"Katty have you heard of the dinner party?" Rhee asked, doubtlessly Dilandau would have to take Katty with him.

"Nmmmn…nope, but Gatti did have a message that he forgot earlier for me. What about it?"

"The generals are coming for a dinner party, and you know how much Dilandau looks up to them…."

"Well, that's great for him…now Shesta what on earth are you doing looking like that?" Katty teased.

"Umm…. what's earth?" Shesta asked as he inspected an ice sculpture of Einstein picking his nose, but to Shesta it was an ugly man.

"Never mind that." Rhee said. "But we have a problem. Since Shesta looks like this, we need a replacement."

"I see, that is a problem." Katty scratched her chin.

"We need you to be Shesta."

"Me!" Katty looked at Rhee. "I've wanted to play dress up!"

"Yes, you are just about his size, maybe a bit shorter, but it will do. We need you to put this on, it is clean." Rhee held up the slayers' uniform. Katty eyed it, but put it on.

"Rhee—e-eee" Katty called from behind her frozen screen. "it doesn't fit in the shoulders."

"Mine doesn't either." Shesta said, as he held up the protective armor.

"Don't worry, do not fear. I have come up with a plan." Rhee held up pillows.

"I can't see." Katty complained from behind her changing area. Rhee tossed over on of the pillows. "oh, now I do." Shesta and Katty shoved the pillows in the uniforms.

"How do I look?" Katty struck a pose. Rhee frowned.

"You still look like Katty."

"How about now?" Katty pinned up her hair until it looked remarkably like Shesta's.

"Nope, now you look like Shesta with implants." Rhee frowned.

"Oh, yeah!" Katty looked at her chest, the blue leather uniform glared back at her. "Hand me some more pillows." She shoved them into her suit. "What about now?"

"Much better." Rhee smiled with satisfaction.

"I look fat." Shesta wailed. And indeed Katty did look like a fat Shesta.

"Oh well, we all know you love those sweets." Rhee frowned, she couldn't take much more of this change-a-roo.

"Hey! I'm not fat!" Katty pouted. "I have to keep my girlish figure!"

"But now you're a boy." Rhee smirked. Katty stuck her tongue out at Rhee. "Now for the test." Rhee shoved Katty and Shesta out in to the hall, were unfortunately, Folken stood in their crash course direction.

"Folken-sama!" Shesta wailed. "I'm sooo sorry!" Folken stared at Shesta.

Dilandau just called me –sama, and said the word sorry! I didn't even know that he knew that word!

Folken sat up slightly and looked at the two with wide eyes.

"Folky! You can open your eyes!" Katty squealed. Folken got up and trembled.

Shesta just squealed, and called me Folky. They both were together and came from Katty's room. I am sure Katty isn't here right now………holy Zaibach! They're…

Folken ran away (aka floated really fast or a strong breeze came and took him away), and Rhee sighed as she came out of the room.

"Did we pass? Did we pass?" Katty was so eager, you could practically see the non-existent tail wagging.

"We failed!" Shesta cried as pools formed around them.

"No, you guys did okay…" Rhee tried to calm the hysterical slayer. "Dilandau would never cry." Shesta looked around himself.

"Did I cry this much?" Shesta said surprised.

"No, that's the water from the ice I had down my back." Katty said unhappily. "But now it's all melty."

"Here, let me help you put it back." Shesta began placing the water back down Katty's shirt. "You're not holding your water! The least you could do is try to keep it in!"

This last phrase was heard by Voile, and he, with his perverted mind, thought the worst. Of course, he only saw Shesta's back from the corner, and didn't see Katty at all, but this was probably better. Just think about what the title of the Rare Gossip paper could have been instead of…

Katty and Dilandau have child!

Instead of

Shesta(who's a girl!) and Dilandau have a child!

Thankfully, Voile didn't bother to stay to find out all the facts.

"This rare gossip is going to make it to the front page! I just know it!" Voile said happily to himself. And yes, it did make it to the front, and only, page because it was the only gossip that had ever existed in Zaibach. And this was recorded in Zaibach history and would be referred to until the death of the whole human kind, as the great miscarriage of Zaibach. But alas! We are off topic.

So the happy little bunnies skipped and jumped and practiced multiplication until they ran out of number and letter to use for names. They were still happy until one day a fire killed every single one of those happy little bunnies, but fear not! They shall have their revenge by using my awful writing skills to upset the world with my horrible stories! Bwhahahaa…

Please excuse this passage, we stepped out only to learn that a little something had left a death note on Katty's lab top. Now we shall resume…

"Where were we?" Katty asks Rhee.

"I dunno…." Rhee reenacts the killing of the bunnies.

"On ward march!"

"All slayers report to the hall for sparring practice." A nerdy voice loomed over the nonexistent intercom that magical did exist in Zaibach. Don't ask how this happened, it just does…(..Do they even have electricity in Zaibach?)

"I'm going to be late!" Shesta cried.

"No you're not." A voice hummed in his ear. Shesta jumped in surprise.

"Hey! There's a bug talking in my head! He sounds nice, I wonder if he'll be my friend!" Shesta smiled and clapped his hands together. Katty stared at him for a second.

"Fruit." Was all she mumbled and Rhee chuckled.

"Shesta-Dilandau," The voice buzzed, " This is God. Not a bug. Listen to what I have to say." Rhee whispered.

"It's GOD!" Shesta's eyes lit up like a Barbie doll that Dilandau had set aflame.

"God!" Katty echoed.

"Dilandau, you can never be late for practice. Everyone else is simply early. And therefore must be punished. Now go my son."

Shesta jumped up and raced towards the slayers' hall, which wasn't far at all. Actually they were right in front of it, and all Shesta had to do was open the door and take a step in.

"I'm sorry I am late." Shesta mumbled as he went to get his sword. The slayers looked at him and the room became as quite as a church rat. So it wasn't very quite at all, but it should have been.

"Dilandau just apologized. Do you think he's sick?" Guimel whispered to Dallet.

"Dilandau has always been sick. Why do you think his name is Fluffly naked doggle chewy sock?" Dallet sneered. Gatti looked at him.

"Are you an idiot?"

"Why thank you very much. But no, I would not like some African tribal ritual tea. It gives me leg cramps." Dallet nodded his head. Gatti and Guimel looked at him once again, struck speechless.

"Lord Dilandau, sir, what should we start with for practice?" Miguel asked Shesta, who had successfully knocked down all the equipment and was trying frantically to put it up.

"Electric slide!" Katty shouted while punching invisible flying sea cucumbers.

"Aren't we going to do the normal workout?" Shesta asked as all the poles fell on top of him again. "Can someone help me!" Shesta cried. Instantly about eight slayers were digging Shesta out of the pile and putting everything upright.

"Well, I assumed that since you were practicing with us today, we might have to do something different." Shesta laughed and patted Miguel on the back.

"Nope, same as always." Miguel stood rigid.

"Did you see that! Dilandau laughed like a normal person!" Voile whispered as he poked Guimel. "He must be drunk!" An eerie chuckle came from behind Voile. A small cloud cover also formed over the slayers' heads as the chuckle stopped. Then time sped up and cobwebs covered the arms and limbs of the slayers that looked like they had been turned to stone. Eerie.

"Hey that isn't very nice." Katty punched (softly) Dallet in the back. The slayers looked at the source of the chuckle. Dallet moved an arm letting all the cobwebs go flying free.

"What's not nice…!" Dallet whimpered. Katty pouted and stuck her bottom lip out.

"You guys didn't say hello to me."

"We never say hello to you Shesta…You're always here." Voile shrugged. "You never go away. You're like a needle stuck in my knee."

"He didn't burst into tears!" Dallet said in a voice that sounded as if he meant for it to be a whisper, but he was shouting.

"Shesta you've gained a few pounds." Guimel said as he inspected the expanding girth of 'Shesta'.

Meanwhile in Katty's room…

Rhee sat peering into a puddle. She was watching the slayer's hall through Shesta's eyes.

"There's nothing good on this channel." Rhee grunted as she picked a chunk of ice and chucked into the puddle. Now she was watching Family Guy.

"Oh I love this episode!" Rhee said happily but then the evil television squirrels chewed on the power line and Family Guy was no more. Rhee frowned as she now watched the slayer's hall through Dallet's eyes. He was mumbling the normal nonsense that all slayers mumble.

Just then a breaking news report came up.

Katty stood in a weather man's outfit holding a yardstick.

"Yes, I know this might look like a nun, but we have some breaking weather reports. We have just learned that water is wet and wind is blowly. This will help us everyday reports from now on. We now just have to find out what clouds are made out of, besides cotton candy and potatoes."

"Katty!" Rhee screamed at the puddle. "You're supposed to be Shesta! Not sister Maria!"

Just then Folken walks in.

"Oh hi Folken." Rhee says with out turning around.

"How did you know it was me?" Folken said depressingly.

"I know cause I felt the temperature drop like ten degrees." Folken looked around. He was already numb from the below freezing temperature Katty kept her room to keep it solid. She couldn't have it just melting away in to the sunset now.

"It's quite warm in here, wouldn't you agree?" Rhee asked as she flicked her long white hair out of her eyes. Folken's teeth were chattering and this irritated Rhee.

"You sound like a elephant on a pogo stick, you fat lard. But never the less, I shall teach you the ways of the golden chicken." Folken looked at her. "Okay, the ways of the dragon slayers."

"Look here." Rhee pointed to the puddle. "Together in a group, the slayers are about as intelligent as a normal human. They can think, work and operate small machines. They express motor skills and a few advanced social behaviors. Now let's see what happens when they get separated."

Rhee threw another piece of ice into the puddle.

"They become confused and primitive. Their small brains can barely operate the normal, necessary functions such as breathing, leaving little brain to use for advanced thinking. They know just enough to itch when something is itchy and to nod their head when someone is talking to them. Oh yes and when the red one, the alpha male, gets grumpy give him wine." Rhee nodded her head in the way that smart people do when they are with other smart people.

I, Katty, have never been able to nod like this, or to see this nod. But it's not like I am missing much, now am I? Katty continues to pick her nose…okay she doesn't. Rhee does the smart nod while Katty tried to figure out whether or not she is picking her nose.

Rhee turned back to the puddle.

Do you know that water is wet?" Dallet said to Voile. Voile's eyes lit up.

"Just like **BEEP**."

"No, not like **BEEP**. More like TINKLE and DRIP DRIP." Gatti said as he frowned at the ideas of his friends. Or were they his friends? They had never come to worship his god, the Lord Spam. No, rather they had laughed at him when they found out about the wonders of his true faith and dedication. How could any person of the true of Spam-o-cult consider people so inferior and disrespectful as friends?

"Gatti what's wrong?" Katty said as she jumped on Gatti. Gatti frequently gave Katty piggy back rides when she wanted them. But she looked like Shesta. Voile wiped away a tear.

"Shesta. Gatti." He said, taking a moment between each. "We are so glad that you finally welcomed each other's undying love and are unashamed of it. I would like to congratulate you on this first step." Voile shook Gatti's hand and Guimel sighed while tearing up.

"What! No! You've got it all wrong!" Shesta wailed. "I'm not gay!" Voile turned to look at him.

"Lord Dilandau, we never said you were gay." Then a sonic boom entered the hall.

"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, VOILE!" Dilandau roared. His cheeks were a rosy red from the wine he has drunk and was swinging a jug of more wine in one hand. Dilandau's eyes slowly trailed off Voile to Shesta-Dilandau and then back to Voile. Notice that nothing happened in his brain when he saw Shesta. That's because his mind was mush. Actually they were serving mush in the cafeteria for lunch. So you could say that you were going to have some Dilandau's brains for lunch, but then people might look at you funny. Kind of like when someone in the middle of an exam finally gets a joke and starts laughing so hard that they get a zero on the said exam for cheating. Of course how could someone cheat by laughing? That is what we shall ponder for the next five minutes.

Please think for the next five minutes starting…..Now.

Yes, NOW.

No cheating.

Has it been five minutes? No? Oh well, I am a very important person and can't waste five minutes on much so there.

We shall continue doing nothing.

K- pst Rhee…. how more lines do we need to write?

Rhee- I have no clue….

The End.

Blah blah blah blah blah **SPAZ JUICE** blah blah blah blah

We can't believe that we find this funny, but we'll get over it soon….we hope.

"I just had some yummy Dilandau's brains for lunch. We have some of the best in all of Zaibach." Rhee commented to Folken as they watched the two Dilandau's yell and cry at each other. The slayers had long ago left for the showers, and the two Dilandaus were unaware of it. Rhee had been instructing Shesta what to say, but with Shesta crying every few seconds, it was not turning out well.

For Katty it was even worse.

"Come on Shesta, share a shower with Gatti. Don't be shy." Voile purred in Katty's ear. She blushed. The showers were all steamy but the lack of clothing was her problem.

"N-no I'm fine. No need to take a shower today." She stuttered in a high pitched whinny voice.

"Oh come on. Don't tell me you've become self- conscience." Miguel said as he washed his hair.

"Not like we would be seeing anything new." Dallet said as he tried to pick up the soap with his feet. Miguel had a look of horror and looked down at himself.

"That's gross… I don't look at you!" Miguel said as he grabbed a near by washcloth.

"That's cause you couldn't take the heat of my big daddy." Dallet's smug expression was maintained even after he slipped on the soap and hit his head on the shower handles, causing massive amounts of blood to be lost. No one noticed, and if they did, they didn't care enough to tell him.

"What? We're talking about dad's now?" Katty said, very confused. Gatti just then remember who this Shesta really was.

"Shesta, you seem sick. Let me take you to the nurses'." Gatti said as he quickly covered up.

"No, I'm fine. Just confused." Katty said as she looked at him. Voile frowned with shock.

"No! Shesta don't you see? Gatti is worried about you! You HAVE to go." Voile winked at Gatti. Gatti shuttered. Voile then whispered in Gatti's ear something so vile and disgusting that we don't trust ourselves to write it because it could corrupt us and everyone who reads it.

Alright, stop it. We'll tell you.

Voile whispered "blah blah blah **SPAZ JUICE **blah blah blah."

We would translate this, but we are so tired of translating all the other languages that we think everyone should just speak freakin' English.

Gatti and Katty, having gotten out of the showers and Gatti's getting dressed, return to Katty's room.

"Folken! What are you doing here?" Katty giggled as she jumped on him. Her hair slipped and Folken stared at her.

"Rh-e-ee-e…" Folken slowly said as to hide any emotion he was feeling.

"Folken, that's Katty. And that's Shesta down there. I can't believe that you believe that it was really Hitomi that I made Dilandau. Gosh, sometimes I wonder." Rhee chuckled quietly.

"Well, it seems we need to clear this all up." Katty said as she pulled the pillows out of her suit. She marched all the way to the training hall. As we said earlier, it was across the hall.

Just then the giant neo lights from the top of the slayer's hall came down and lighted up.

"Warning! They are here! Hurry!" An automatic voice cried. Dilandau stood up.

"They're here!" He jumped up happily, grabbed Shesta's and Katty's hands and danced with them in a circle.

Okay he didn't dance. He dragged them out of the hall. He knocked down the doors of the slayer's room.

"Get up." He growled. Voile and Dallet looked up from the knitting and Miguel gladly scampered away from helping Guimel paint his toenails.

"What is it Dilandau-sama?" Voile purred.

"The generals are here!" He cried, his eyes lighting up like a happy little bunny the day the entire population was killed in a fire. "Get ready! Get ready! Hurry!" He was stomping his foot in a pile of laundry that had been set out to go down the new "shoot". Then an unpleasant squish made him pick up his foot to see that he had stepped on a banana.

"So that's where my sacrifice for Lord Spam went!" Gatti exclaimed happily.

"Lord Spam?" A general stood in the doorway. Dilandau gulped and laughed nervously.

"He doesn't know what he's talking about…" Dilandau shot a death look at Gatti.

"Oh that's to bad, as I am a high priest in the Spam-o-cult." Another general stood besides the first one.

"Dornkirk said something about Lord Spam being our down fall one day…" He muttered softly.

"Spam," Katty retched, "is the one thing that Katty can not destroy. No matter what she does it always stays the same!"

The slayers, Dilandau, the generals, and the banana all looked puzzled at the girl who had finally understood the answer to the Secret of Life.

"The answer to the Secret of Life is when Katty speaks to herself in third person, all hell breaks lose because Katty finally understands the answer to the Secret of Life."

End.

Rhee- What a weird ending….

Katty- I gave up. So what?

Rhee- Are Folken and me still staring into that puddle?

Katty-Probably….

Rhee- That sounds boring…Can't we have a simulating game of chess?

Katty- Simulating?…Chess?

Rhee- Never mind….


End file.
